I have surprisingly strong feelings about underpants, or rather the celebrities who endorse them. I don’t have skin in the game; I’ve never been a designer-pants man. The nearest I got to any kind of endorsement deal was with the Björn Borg brand. They gave me some briefs, but, bafflingly, expressed no interest in photos of me wearing them. So I just wore them until they wore out, then went back to M&S.
While I cannot imagine ever buying Calvin Klein pants, I do take an interest in their models. I could have sworn blind David Beckham was one of them, but it turns out otherwise. Armani, H&M and Hugo Boss, but not Calvin Klein. Freddie Ljungberg was a CK man. Smouldering away, but a bit too much body oil for my taste. Looked a right slippery fish. The biggest letdown was Jeremy Allen White, the actor from The Bear. I took him for someone a bit like me – ate too much and therefore on the paunchy side. Suddenly, he was up on billboards in his undies, all toned and muscly, with abs as clanking hard as his cast-iron pans. Disappointing. What a sellout.
