Last summer, my best friend died. I wasn’t able to fly to the US for his funeral. Mike (not his real name) was the brother I wish I’d grown up with. We met when I lived in the States for three months. When I proposed to my future husband, I wanted Mike to be my best man. We used to go to the same church and when I realised that a life of celibacy as a gay Christian, denying who I truly am, wasn’t going to work, Mike was one of the few church friends who stuck by me.
I don’t know how Mike died. He struggled with painkillers and alcohol, as well as mental health at times. Since he died, I’ve been in occasional contact with members of his family but can’t bring myself to ask the cause of death. I’m wondering whether I could ask – and if so, how to frame the question sensitively – to get a sense of closure. Is this appropriate?
