A child who won't pick up the pencil until she's sure she'll write the letter correctly. A child who says he doesn't want to play a new game before he's even heard the rules. A child who, when asked to try something unfamiliar, says flatly, "I don't want to", and means it. This is not defiance. It is a child who has decided that not trying is safer than trying and failing, and who has built a working logic around that decision.
