Poop jokes have been making people laugh since, well, forever. And honestly? They never get old.
Whether you're a kid discovering potty humor for the first time, a parent looking for something to share at dinner, or an adult who just needs a solid Number Two joke, this collection has something for everyone.
From groan-worthy puns and clever wordplay to classic bathroom humor and jokes so silly they loop back around to genius, these are the poop jokes that always land.
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes… but they’re a solid number two.
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What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
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Can trees poo?
Yes, how else do we get No.2 pencils?
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Why did the girl bring toilet paper to the party?
Because she was a party pooper.
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Which kind of poo smells better than it tastes?
Shampoo.
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What’s a poo’s favorite game? Hide and stink.
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Which part of a trilogy is always a stinker? The turd part.
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What kind of dog lives in the toilet?
A poo-dle!
—bro_builds
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How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? Just a phew.
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What is a bathroom fairy called? Stinker-bella!
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Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
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What’s the best snack for watching a movie that stinks?
Poop-corn!
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What is the stinkiest planet?
Poop-iter.
—bro_builds
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Why do cops sit on the toilet all day?
Because it’s their duty.
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What did the little poo said to its mom?
“Mom, I’ve got to go.”
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What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?
You get the biggest vowel movement ever.
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How do you stop a poo from smelling?
Hold its nose!
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What do you call Clark Kent with diarrhea?
Pooperman.
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What do a clown’s farts smell like?
They smell funny.
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Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, you're a poo!
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Poop jokes will always have a special place in comedy history, immature, ridiculous, and absolutely timeless. If these silly punchlines cracked you up, dive into our laugh-out-loud jokes collection for even more totally unserious humor.
Why did the poo fail its driving test?
It couldn't pass!
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What do you get if you cross a poo with an elephant?
Big dumpo!
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What does a poop gun sound like?
Poo. Poo!
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Why was the poo late for the party?
It got stuck.
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If your humor runs a little more sophisticated, our adult jokes collection has 111 laughs that work just as well at the dinner table.
Why did the poo apply for a job?
It wanted to make a clean start.
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What does Superman call his bathroom?
The Super Bowl!
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What did the poo say to the fart?
You blew me away.
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Why don’t poos ever tell secrets?
Because they might slip out!
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Where do sheep go to poo?
To the baaa-throom.
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More of a body humor fan? Our fat jokes keep the laughs going in a slightly different direction.
Why did the cow go poo?
It has a bowel mooooovement!
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Why do poos never win races?
They are always behind!
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How do you know if a poo's telling a lie?
You can smell it from a mile away!
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If pooping is the call of nature…
Is farting like a missed call?
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Where can Woody and Buzz go number 2?
In the toy-let.
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita go to the bathroom now!
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Why was the poop sad?
It got dumped!
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What do you get when a king farts?
Noble gas!
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
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Why don’t toilets ever get invited to parties?
Because they always bring their business.
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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Poo.
Poo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
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What do you get if you cross a bear with poop?
Winnie the Pooh!
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Why did the toilet paper go missing?
It got wiped out.
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Where do poops like to sit?
On a stool!
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Why did the poop blush?
Because it was caught in the act.
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What’s a poop’s favorite vegetable?
A pea!
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What did the poop say when it won the silver metal?
“I’m number two!”
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What’s a poo’s favorite dance?
The swirl!
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Why did the poop start a band?
Because it wanted to make some solid hits!
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What did one toilet say to the other?
“You look a bit flushed.”
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Two flies are sitting on a piece of poop. One fly farts and the other fly cries, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”
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What did one poo say to the other poo?
“You crack me up!”
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What's a poo's favourite TV show?
The Dumping Ground!
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What's a poo's favourite dessert?
Poo-fiteroles!
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If one teeth is a tooth, one geese is a goose, doesn't that mean that one peep is a poop?
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What did the puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes?
“Stop making me laugh or I’ll puma pants!”
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I like toilets for two reasons.
Number one and number two.
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What is the best time to go the restroom?
Poo-thirty.
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Why did the poop refuse to play hide and seek?
Because it didn’t want to be caught in the act.
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What do you call a poo on a stick?
A popsicle!
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What did one poop say to the other at the party?
“Let’s get this potty started!”
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Who helped the poop get better at math?
His toot-er.
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Why did the poop take a nap?
It was feeling wiped out
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What’s the best way to teach poop manners?
Potty training.
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What do you call a magical poop?
Poodini!
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Why were there candles on the toilet seat?
Because there was a surprise birthday potty.
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When bears poop in the woods, is the smell unbearable?
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What’s a poo’s favorite type of music? R&P (Rhythm & Poos)!
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What is something you never appreciate until it’s gone?
Toilet paper.
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What’s a poo’s favorite game? Hide and stink.
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A fart is actually a lonely cry from an abandoned poop.
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Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
I did up.
I did up who?
Eww. You did a poo?
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Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
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When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? When it has a leek in it!
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Where should you keep a fake poo?
In the bottom drawer!
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What’s the similarity between poop and talent? Both will come out when it’s time for them to come out.
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Which movie is always the worst of the trilogy?
The turd one.
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Why did the baker have smelly hands?
He kneaded a poo.
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What did the poo say when it got promoted? “I’m on a roll!”
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What is the best time to go the restroom?
Poo-thirty.
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