We have this creep-ola on my parent's street named Mr. D

He's incredibly nosy and a horrible gossip. He told my parent's I had about 10 people over for about 6 hours one night... when I was 20 and in college. He doesn't live within eye view of my house.

One time when I was much younger and stupider, I had to go get Plan B from the store. Stuff happens. Well he was already there, and I noticed he was following me from a far distance. I had to double back him, run to the other end of the store, grab my Plan B and run. Thankfully most of my parents' neighbors didn't pay attention to him talking about the fact I was in the Family planning section and wasn't that so suspicious?


He does this to everyone on our street, not just me. Constantly skulking around us. If I stop to pet his outdoor cat when I'm out running, he immediately comes outside and wants to talk for like an hour about everything I'm doing in my life. Creepy.

My apartment neighbor below me, walks onto her patio and pushes her windchimes. She has two sets, one on one end of the patio, and the other at the other end. She does this in succession, once one stops she walks to the other. She does this sixish times a day?

She was on the phone the other day, and she was explaining this to whomever she was speaking with saying "I do this all the time, it must really annoy my neighbors"...

It's not that bad...

I've never had a non weird neighbor.

I used to have one who would dress up in full cowboy attire and mow his lawn at a running pace. Like literally he would run while pushing the mower.

Another one of my neighbors had terrible OCD. He would full hand wash his cars if he drove them once. I'm talking a 2-3 hour hand washing ordeal here. He'd get on top of the house and blow leaves off his roof.

He had a hose that he would perfectly coil up and the same spot everyday and would sometimes spend up to an hour getting it right. There was a ton of things this guy did and while sad incredibly amusing to watch sometimes...

Had a neighbour who always picked up trash on our street. Great, except dude liked to run the hose over them and hang them up to dry. Bottles, paper, clothes, food, cigarettes, you named it. After drying the stuff out, he'd throw the stuff away.

Mine sits in his hedge watching my husband and I working ( we run a farm) and then he copies what we are doing. He wears cammo and thinks we can't see him!

My polish neighbor actually would race pigeons. So with one whistle the pigeons would fly in a circle over the yard and with another whistle come back into the coup. He showed me his long shelf of trophies, and he's been doing this for years! I would drink vodka with him when I would now my lawn in high school. Still miss him! 😭.

My neighbors are a couple that dress the same way that I did in middle school. I don't mean to hate on them, they've always been nice to me and my girlfriend, but I can't help but think the studded bracelets, a skull wreath on their door and Jack Skellington tattoos are a little weird for people of their age. Maybe it's just me. Regardless, I never had a reason not to like them, so we got on just fine.



Anyway, one day I'm taking my trash out and I notice that the guy neighbor followed me down the stairs. No biggie, he could've been doing laundry or something else. I thought nothing of it. When I toss my garbage in the can, I turn around and catch a glimpse of him tucking around a corner. I walk over and see him holding a video camera.



I asked what he was filming and he says "You. I'm shooting a horror movie and I wanted to catch you off guard so you wouldn't appear to be 'acting'." I told him that it wasn't really okay to just be filming people in secret without their consent, especially if he planned to publish it in some way.



He apologized insincerely and I let it go, under the condition that he not do it again and to cut that shot out of the movie.



He texted me a link weeks later of his movie. He never cut the scene out. There I am, walking to take the trash out. You can even see me lift a leg and let out a little fart. Goddamnit.

A few years back, my wife and I were selling our little starter house. My wife knew four real estate agents, but we ended up going with my mom's friend, June, because it's my mother and I didn't feel like having another god argument. June is old as, and I mean that literally. She's also country as hell, so she thinks things like homosexuality and swingers and stuff like that didn't exist prior to 2007.

The three of us were sitting at our dining room table one afternoon as we filled out our initial paperwork. Our property was at the top of a hill, and it sloped downward behind our house. So from our window, we could see into about five or six different backyards. This wasn't anything special, as the most interesting thing you'd normally see is our neighbor's rat terrier relentlessly attacking a garden gnome.

Just as we were about to sign our paperwork, June yells out "OOOOH MAH WOOOORD! THAR'S NAKED PEOPLE OUT THERE!"

Sure enough, at the backyard behind our house, there was a nudist pool party. Eighteen year old guy, forty year old lady, sixty year old guy, an obese man wearing Mardi Gras beads, an obese lady blowing bubbles, a guy named Bubbles having the time of his life, you name it. (Ok, that last one didn't happen. The rest of them were real, plus four or five others that were a bit less interesting...apart from being naked.)

My wife insisted that I shout at them or wave at them so they knew we could see them. So I went out onto our deck and waved at them. They waved back and resumed their party. The old man was eating jello. That fact isn't relevant in any way, but it upset me at the time, so I'm sharing it with you.