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David Paterson

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David Paterson

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1 posts

9.4K comments

53.8K upvotes

41.1K points

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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David Paterson • commented on 10 posts 2 hours ago

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

That is exactly how I got mugged by a kangaroo mother.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I used to do all 63 of those. I've learnt to occasionally do the opposite, it adds variety and spice to an otherwise boring life.

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

That is exactly how I got mugged by a kangaroo mother.

Show All 10 Comments

David Paterson • upvoted 25 items 6 hours ago

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I used to do all 63 of those. I've learnt to occasionally do the opposite, it adds variety and spice to an otherwise boring life.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I've only ever argued with a stupid person once in my life. At age 60. I loved the experience, would happily repeat.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I used to do all 63 of those. I've learnt to occasionally do the opposite, it adds variety and spice to an otherwise boring life.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I've only ever argued with a stupid person once in my life. At age 60. I loved the experience, would happily repeat.

79 Silly Memes That Feel Suspiciously Relatable

Not me, but this sure explains a lot about politics, finance, management, sport, relationships, ...

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

Perspective made that fence.

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

If my loving wife knew what demons I really battle with, she'd have insomnia for the rest of her life with me.

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

She noticed, she just prefers this.

83 Of The Funniest Pop Culture Posts You Can Pass Around For Instant Good Vibes

You can. The book is already published, "Yesteryear" by Caro Claire Burke. Have not read it, but a good friend has and she really liked it. It's on my list.

83 Of The Funniest Pop Culture Posts You Can Pass Around For Instant Good Vibes

There will always be punishment for not supporting the 'Official Narrative.'

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

This actually used to be a policy of Wal-Mart, when Sam Walton ran it. (not sure if it's still the case.) Regardless, the policy was, every two weeks or so, they would reorganize the store. The idea being that the longer the customer was in the store, the more likely they were to buy other things.

79 Silly Memes That Feel Suspiciously Relatable

Enjoyed these!

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

Oh, he's a keeper. Next date should be the eye doctor followed with an AA meeting.

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

time to defrost that freezer!!

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

Yeah, yeah, we all know this. So, who's going first with the honesty?

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

As long as she sits on a backless stool. I would've gone with a staple gun, myself.

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

In thunder, lightning or in rain?

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

I suspect it's AI

83 Of The Funniest Pop Culture Posts You Can Pass Around For Instant Good Vibes

Only because it’s too late to ask Ernest Borgnine :)

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCM8IZBPQGk

83 Of The Funniest Pop Culture Posts You Can Pass Around For Instant Good Vibes

Maybe it's the cult he belongs to.

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

Is that legal to drive on the road? Can it be registered?

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

When shall we three meet again

The British Create The Funniest Memes And Here Are 39 This Facebook Group Had To Offer

That’s a chicken who has had a s*x change

Funny, Memes

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

Looks like the abandoned equipment from Chernobyl. Basically any vehicle used during the accident was left behind because it was too irradiated to ever use again.

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

Ready reserve ... the U.S. has similar. Take for example the "mothball fleet" of naval ships in California ... they are afloat and sufficiently working as to be reactivated quickly in an emergency.

Show All 25 Upvotes

David Paterson • upvoted 4 items 1 day ago

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

It was a sinkhole caused by an old mineshaft. Most are not square, this one is because the mineshaft was.

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

That´s when you lost your car keys.

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

It was a sinkhole caused by an old mineshaft. Most are not square, this one is because the mineshaft was.

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

That´s when you lost your car keys.

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

Psychosis is not a joke. Treat OP with respect and kindness.

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

My apartment in Alaska was robbed while I was at an evening meeting. I came home to find everything of value gone. Two days later, I entered the maintenance storeroom adjoining my unit to borrow a bucket. That's where I found a makeshift bed of stolen clothes from the laundry room, a latrine bucket, and several of my missing possessions.

Show All 4 Upvotes

David Paterson • commented on a post 1 day ago

50 New ‘Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal’ Comics About Life, Science, And Everything In Between

Thank you. You're right. That is easier.

David Paterson • submitted a new post 4 months ago

Comics

This Cartoonist Explores The Absurdly Thin Line Between Genius And Stupidity. An Interview With The Cartoonist. 11 Cartoons.

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David Paterson • commented on 10 posts 2 hours ago

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

That is exactly how I got mugged by a kangaroo mother.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I used to do all 63 of those. I've learnt to occasionally do the opposite, it adds variety and spice to an otherwise boring life.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I've only ever argued with a stupid person once in my life. At age 60. I loved the experience, would happily repeat.

79 Silly Memes That Feel Suspiciously Relatable

Not me, but this sure explains a lot about politics, finance, management, sport, relationships, ...

79 Silly Memes That Feel Suspiciously Relatable

Person 1, "Don't be sad". Person 2, "Why not?". Person 1, "I can so much more done when I'm angry".

83 Of The Funniest Pop Culture Posts You Can Pass Around For Instant Good Vibes

Or has a good wig maker.

83 Of The Funniest Pop Culture Posts You Can Pass Around For Instant Good Vibes

You can do a lot with wigs.

83 Of The Funniest Pop Culture Posts You Can Pass Around For Instant Good Vibes

That's OK. Microplastics don't exist (contaminated glassware in the lab). And 95.5% of nothing is nothing.

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

If my loving wife knew what demons I really battle with, she'd have insomnia for the rest of her life with me.

32 Funny Memes To Give You A Break From All That Doomscrolling

Don't disrespect cassowaries, they're the gentlest birds I know. They're gentler than sparrows. They just look fearsome, and won't end you unless you provoke them.

David Paterson • commented on 7 posts 1 day ago

50 New ‘Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal’ Comics About Life, Science, And Everything In Between

Thank you. You're right. That is easier.

50 New ‘Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal’ Comics About Life, Science, And Everything In Between

Try cancelling all internet subscriptions. Nowadays getting a divorce is easier.

50 New ‘Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal’ Comics About Life, Science, And Everything In Between

The bible is also better if translated correctly. Eg. Abraham plays a practical joke on Isaac. Leviticus starts with instructions for holding a portable outdoor woodfired barbecue. Elijah is run down on the road, by the fire brigade.

50 New ‘Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal’ Comics About Life, Science, And Everything In Between

Gotta love BP censorship.

50 New ‘Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal’ Comics About Life, Science, And Everything In Between

Britain is more Athenian. America is more Roman. Athens was more into philosophy and science. Rome was more into money, mass production and global domination.

The World’s Toughest Security Makes These Places Off Limits Even For The Most Daring Villains

Um, so all of those plutonium and nuclear warhead storage facilities are low security? Asking for a friend.

85 Interesting Cases Of People Asking The Internet “What’s This Worth?” And Getting A Straight Answer

Old singer sewing machines are a dime a dozen. Sold in huge numbers and last forever.

David Paterson • commented on 3 posts 2 days ago

69 Random And Cool Facts People Know That Are Useless But Fun To Share With Friends

Myth.

69 Random And Cool Facts People Know That Are Useless But Fun To Share With Friends

In the visible universe? Let's try a back of envelope calculation. Between 200 million and 1 billion galaxies in the visible universe. 1 galaxy per 100 years. So between 2 million and 10 million supernovae per year. There are about 30 million seconds in a year. So about 3 to 15 seconds per supernova. Less than a minute, it's true.

69 Random And Cool Facts People Know That Are Useless But Fun To Share With Friends

This is oversimplified.

David Paterson • upvoted 20 items 5 hours ago

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

Safety first.

These Heartwarming Animal Photos Show The Beautiful Bond Between Animals And Humans (31 New Pics)

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

From coiffed to cryptid in 2.5 seconds...

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

Ouch

These Heartwarming Animal Photos Show The Beautiful Bond Between Animals And Humans (31 New Pics)

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

Taegu lizard.

These Heartwarming Animal Photos Show The Beautiful Bond Between Animals And Humans (31 New Pics)

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

Horseback, but make it cow.

These Heartwarming Animal Photos Show The Beautiful Bond Between Animals And Humans (31 New Pics)

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

Yeah: it just "don't wanna". 🤭

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

This is how cats refuse to do things, like go for walks.

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

The dog's face!! 🤣🤣🤣

31 Of The Most Hilarious And Cute ‘Important Animal Images’ To Brighten Your Day (New Pics)

I love her reaction.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I used to do all 63 of those. I've learnt to occasionally do the opposite, it adds variety and spice to an otherwise boring life.

63 People Share Adult “Cheat Codes” That Changed Their Lives

I've only ever argued with a stupid person once in my life. At age 60. I loved the experience, would happily repeat.

Creepy World, Curiosities

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

That´s when you lost your car keys.

“Gateway To Hell”: 81 Images That Range From A Bit Creepy To Totally Terrifying (New Pics)

Sara Mason as well as her mother and brother were shot and k!lled that night. There are news articles if you click on the Reddit link.

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