A few years ago I got invited to a friend's engagement party. They were throwing a huge bash because they were planning on a very small destination wedding. Later in the evening, my friend's fiancé takes the mic and starts thanking everyone for being there. "Sorry, Jen will be out to thank you guys in a minute, she's just having a wardrobe malfunction". He goes on to tell the story about how they met, how they were best friends and decided to get engaged and finished along the lines of "we wish you could all be there and that we could get married right now. So we're going to"

Out walks Jen in her wedding dress.

TL;DR: engagement party turned into a surprise wedding.

1991, I'm 19, just signed the lease for my first (solo) apartment, just got the first paycheck from my new job, I deposit the paycheck at an ATM (another first! I'd always gone into the bank to do it). Two weeks later, I get my bank statement in the mail, and see with horror I have only $1.87 in my account. Way wrong, I should have at least $200, I'd been very careful with my spending. I'm freaked, I came within $2 of bouncing my first rent check.

I'm literally reaching for the phone to call the bank when the phone rings. It's the police, asking if my ATM card was stolen. I check my wallet and the card is missing (my job at a theater pub came with cash tips so I didn't use the card often), and tell them I was going to call them anyway because I was missing $200 from my account. "Well, we've got your card, and your $200, so come down to the police station," they tell me.

I can't figure out how they have my card AND the cash. Doesn't make sense. I drive down there.

Detective says someone (let's call him Bob) pulled in to use an ATM and saw a man acting suspiciously while he was using it, moving back and forth as if trying to dodge the camera. Bob says the man then left the ATM, got into a car, and drove away at high speeds as if fleeing. Bob then went to the ATM and put his card in, which popped out. Bob then withdrew $200, and then another ATM card popped out. My card. Bob's card had popped out because the crook had left my card in the ATM before speeding away. Bob realized he had withdrawn the money from my account and not his, so he brought my card and the cash to the police and reported the attempted theft.

The detective gives me the description of the crook. According to Bob, it was a man 5'7", brown hair, round gold-rimmed glasses. I say out loud "So, about my height, my color hair, and glasses like mine," before realizing Bob was describing me.

I'd never deposited a check in an ATM before, so I was moving back and forth, following the instructions on the screen, filling out the envelope with my account number, punching the amount in, etc. I then forgot to take my card out and just left because I'm a f*****g idiot. I drove away at high speeds because I was 19 and that's how I drove everywhere.

Worried the detective might be annoyed, I didn't tell him I was the crook, I just thanked him and left with the money I stole from myself. Somewhere in a box in my closet I still have the police report where I'm both the victim and the perp.