Going to court can be intimidating. Whether you’re guilty of a crime or not, you have to be careful about what you say. And it’s best to be extremely prepared, so you don’t flounder on the stand. A great lawyer can do most of the heavy lifting, but they can’t necessarily win a case for an idiotic client.
Attorneys on Reddit have been recalling the absolute stupidest decisions their clients have ever made, so we’ve compiled a list of their stories below. From flat-out admitting to crimes to sharing incriminating posts on social media, there are clearly no limits to what terrible decisions clients can make. Enjoy reading through these embarrassing fails, and be sure to upvote the ones that you find most amusing.
#1
I am not a lawyer but this worked out super well for me.
I was hit by this 65 year old drunk lady (who also happened to be on Methodone at the time...). The cops knew her husband who was a firefighter, and so they didnt breathalize or do any tests, and didnt charge her with DUI. My EMTs had said "that lady is so drunk, shes going to buy you a ticket to Disney world," which is how I knew that she was drunk at the time of the accident, but I had no proof to bring to the table in the lawsuit because if the cops didnt charge or make notes then you cannot add it later.
So we get to MY deposition and she shows up. She argues with me the entire time over my points and her lawyer keeps having to tell her that she needs to be quiet. (mind you, this lady had ruined my friends and my lives. So I was becoming less than patient with her calling me a liar when she got off scot free.) She exclaims to my lawyer "Even the police report is wrong!"
"What do you mean its wrong?"
"It has me coming from the wrong place!"
"Where were you coming from?"
"My friends Bar!"
"...Really...Did you have any drinks at this bar?"
"Well yeah..."
"How many?"
"I dont know, they dont charge me they just keep refilling my class..."
Cue her lawyers face palm as this is all on tape.
**TLDR**: Lady exclaims that she was drinking and driving when she could have gotten off scot free.
I was hit by this 65 year old drunk lady (who also happened to be on Methodone at the time...). The cops knew her husband who was a firefighter, and so they didnt breathalize or do any tests, and didnt charge her with DUI. My EMTs had said "that lady is so drunk, shes going to buy you a ticket to Disney world," which is how I knew that she was drunk at the time of the accident, but I had no proof to bring to the table in the lawsuit because if the cops didnt charge or make notes then you cannot add it later.
So we get to MY deposition and she shows up. She argues with me the entire time over my points and her lawyer keeps having to tell her that she needs to be quiet. (mind you, this lady had ruined my friends and my lives. So I was becoming less than patient with her calling me a liar when she got off scot free.) She exclaims to my lawyer "Even the police report is wrong!"
"What do you mean its wrong?"
"It has me coming from the wrong place!"
"Where were you coming from?"
"My friends Bar!"
"...Really...Did you have any drinks at this bar?"
"Well yeah..."
"How many?"
"I dont know, they dont charge me they just keep refilling my class..."
Cue her lawyers face palm as this is all on tape.
**TLDR**: Lady exclaims that she was drinking and driving when she could have gotten off scot free.
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20points
#2
My all time favorite is a client I had who was charged with Driving Under the Influence (DUI), who wanted to challenge the charges on the grounds he didn't think he was drunk and the tests was administered improperly...who appeared at his court hearings rip-roarin' drunk...twice...and then, both times, he got into his car and tried to drive away...and BOTH TIMES, the police promptly stopped him, administered a breathalyzer and charged him with DUI and related offenses.
We didn't win that case.
We didn't win that case.
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19points
#3
Told a client "don't say anything to the police, wait until I get there." Confesses to a crime he wasn't being investigated for.
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19points
You might be an extremely likable and unproblematic person, but that doesn't mean that you’re ready to be on trial. If you have an excellent lawyer, they’ll do everything in their power to make sure you look great on the stand and in the eyes of the court. But whoever you’re going up against will probably have a pretty great lawyer too. And they’ll do everything in their power to make you look terrible. So it’s absolutely crucial for clients to enter a courtroom prepared, composed, and careful.
According to King Law Offices, there are some important dos and don’ts for clients to know before entering a courtroom. First, they note that you must dress appropriately, arrive early, follow courtroom etiquette, listen to your attorney, and present yourself positively.
#4
My dad is an attorney, and these stories are somewhat relevant....
Backstory: Father's office is robbed and the guy took a bunch of our ID's, passports, social security cards, ect that we kept at my dad's office.
A few years/months later (not sure of the timeline) my dad is in court for another case/meeting.
Guy enters the courthouse, going through security for a hearing for some unrelated charges. My dad gets called from his meeting and the security guys were laughing, "hey get a load of this Mr. Spretty21's dad, this guy says he's YOU!" I believe he was then charged with robbing my dad's office.
Another story. My dad is in a meeting with some guys who were unaware that my dad fluently speaks their native language. They were telling him one story in English, then would switch to their native language to confer about covering up the truth. My dad let them go on like this for a while before finally cutting in, in their language, and asking them about the real story. They were extermely dumbfounded and busted.
This will probably stay buried, but hey, it's out there :).
Backstory: Father's office is robbed and the guy took a bunch of our ID's, passports, social security cards, ect that we kept at my dad's office.
A few years/months later (not sure of the timeline) my dad is in court for another case/meeting.
Guy enters the courthouse, going through security for a hearing for some unrelated charges. My dad gets called from his meeting and the security guys were laughing, "hey get a load of this Mr. Spretty21's dad, this guy says he's YOU!" I believe he was then charged with robbing my dad's office.
Another story. My dad is in a meeting with some guys who were unaware that my dad fluently speaks their native language. They were telling him one story in English, then would switch to their native language to confer about covering up the truth. My dad let them go on like this for a while before finally cutting in, in their language, and asking them about the real story. They were extermely dumbfounded and busted.
This will probably stay buried, but hey, it's out there :).
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18points
#5
Story from a friend of mine - he was defending a guy in court, don't remember what he was charged with.
The main witness for prosecution was on the stand, and was asked if she could identify the defendent. She was scanning the courtroom & seemed confused - my friend was already silently celebrating because if she couldn't identify him, he could probably get all charged dropped.
As he was mentally adding this case to the 'win' file, he happened to glance over at his client, who had just helpfully raised his hand to make it easier for her to identify him.
Even the judge facepalmed on that one.
The main witness for prosecution was on the stand, and was asked if she could identify the defendent. She was scanning the courtroom & seemed confused - my friend was already silently celebrating because if she couldn't identify him, he could probably get all charged dropped.
As he was mentally adding this case to the 'win' file, he happened to glance over at his client, who had just helpfully raised his hand to make it easier for her to identify him.
Even the judge facepalmed on that one.
17points
#6
Not my client, but I saw this. Accused bank robber at a bail hearing was told by the judge his bond was set at $100,000 and explained to him that meant he could post $10,000 in cash to be released pending trial. He asked the accused if he had $10,000 for bail. The accused replied "Judge, if I had $10,000 I wouldn't have been robbing the bank." The US attorney asked for a copy of the transcript, easiest conviction ever.
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15points
As far as what clients must avoid doing in a courtroom, King Law Offices warns against speaking without permission, showing disrespect, discussing your case outside of the courtroom, ignoring court orders or instructions, and displaying impatience or frustration.
We all know that it’s not exactly fun to have to go to court, whether you’re accused of a crime or not. But it will be even less pleasant if you don’t play the game correctly. The vast majority of the time, your lawyer knows best. So just follow their advice, and you should be able to avoid ending up on a list like this.
#7
"She has a restraining order on you. You absolutely cannot contact her any more."
They moved in together.
They moved in together.
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14points
#8
I represent clients before the IRS. Had a couple who owed around $250,000 in back taxes. We had no defense, so the only thing to do was have the clients meet with the IRS and plead for leniency. Well, the wife got arrogant with the IRS agent, and at one point stood up and screamed at the IRS agent (who was a pretty decent person, making a very middle class wage) "you'll take away my Mercedes over my corpse!" Then she stormed out of the conference room.
Needless to say, she lost the Mercedes.
Needless to say, she lost the Mercedes.
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14points
#9
My dad was a lawyer in the navy. One of his first big cases was defending a guy accused of falling asleep at his post during Vietnam. My dad was all psyched, delivering what he thought was well prepared defense to the judge. The judge interrupted him, telling him to turn around and wake up his client.
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13points
Are you enjoying these amusing and facepalm-worthy stories about lawyers’ clients, pandas? Keep upvoting the ones that leave your jaw on the floor, and let us know in the comments below if you’ve ever witnessed anything similar in real life. Then, if you’d like to read another article from Bored Panda featuring stories from lawyers about difficult clients, look no further than right here!
#10
My high school best friend's father is a lawyer, and I remember him telling me this story years ago.
He gets a client who was being charged with a DUI. He asks the client what happened and the client states that he had two drinks, gets stopped, and the police wrongly charged him with driving under the influence. My friend's dad then looked over the evidence as any good lawyer would do. Come to find out, there was video evidence from a dash cam! Awesome!
His client on video was visibly drunk, and he described it as being you'd be stupid to think he was sober. He was convinced there wasn't much he could do with this. There's icing on the cake though. When the police officer went to give him the breathalyzer his client is heard stating, "I'm too drunk to use this thing".
He gets a client who was being charged with a DUI. He asks the client what happened and the client states that he had two drinks, gets stopped, and the police wrongly charged him with driving under the influence. My friend's dad then looked over the evidence as any good lawyer would do. Come to find out, there was video evidence from a dash cam! Awesome!
His client on video was visibly drunk, and he described it as being you'd be stupid to think he was sober. He was convinced there wasn't much he could do with this. There's icing on the cake though. When the police officer went to give him the breathalyzer his client is heard stating, "I'm too drunk to use this thing".
13points
#11
The case had gone on for years. Client was badly injured in a car accident and was about to win millions. Then she posted a Facebook status about her doing something very active and thus negating the entire case. Had to settle for $100,000. Years of work down the drain in one Facebook status.
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13points
#12
Probably will get buried. But it happened to my dad, where he was at the court house to meet with the judge and when going through security he had his wallet stolen. Well, this genius of a fellow who took his wallet was already being tried in court that day on, you guessed it, charges of theft. Yes, this brilliant man stole from the security line at a court house in direct view of cameras. People are great.
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13points
#13
My lawyer brother once got a "contempt of court" charge dismissed against his client by begging for mercy, using a Forrest Gump-like defense "Mah client is not a smart man....". Immediately after the charge was dismissed, the client turned and in front of the entire court punched my brother in the mouth, yelling "Who are you callin' DUMB?!" Client was promptly re-arrested.
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13points
#14
Not my client, but I was on the prosecutor's side when a defendant failed to appear for court. His attorney can't reach him, nobody know where he is, so we all sit there for about half an hour, until the judge gets sick of it and moves on with the docket.
We found out later that day that the defendant decided to rob a 7/11 the night before and was sitting in jail two counties over when he should've been in court.
We found out later that day that the defendant decided to rob a 7/11 the night before and was sitting in jail two counties over when he should've been in court.
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12points
#15
My sister is a public defender. She recently had a shoplifting case where the defendant was caught in possession of stolen goods which happened to match a list (also in his possession) entitled "Things to steal from Walmart".
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11points
#16
Client was an accountant for a good size company. During the recession she was laid off and filed for unemployment where claimed she made 200k+ salary. Real salary was 60k. The company received the unemployment claim, investigated, and found out she embezzled millions.
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11points
#17
1. Guy robs bank, flees scene. His clever getaway plan is to jump into the nearest taxi. Yells at the driver "I just robbed that bank, now drive!". Driver turns around. Is cop. In haste robber has mistaken Police car for taxi (in my country taxis are white, so it is feasible but EXTREMELY dumb).
2. Guy is being questioned at scene of recent burglary, as suspect. When asked for occupation he says "Burglar".
2. Guy is being questioned at scene of recent burglary, as suspect. When asked for occupation he says "Burglar".
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10points
#18
Not a lawyer here - still in law school, but assisting lawyers with cases. One day, we got involved in a care taking debate for an old woman. Her daughter and an attorney were declared legal guardians for her, due to dementia and her high age. Her niece got us involved questioning the motives of the daughter as an assigned legal guardian. Long story short: Her motives were definitely questionable, she stole ten thousands of dollars and even her mom's vaccuum cleaner and silver cutlery (which resulted in the poor woman eating with her fingers) and the case seemed to be a piece of cake for us. Then the niece, our client, took the old lady away to a senior citizen home to guarantee she was taken care well of. Her intentions were gold - unfortunately, daughter & attorney were still legal guardians and had the right to determine the place of residence. In the end, our client was charged with kidnapping and we lost the case. Moral of the story: don't ever do anything case related before talking to your lawyer. Seriously. Don't.
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9points
#19
Fortunately I was not the attorney in question, but:
Guy is convicted of some traffic-related offense, loses his driver's licence (effective immediately), gets in the car and drives home. Along with his lawyer.
Guy is convicted of some traffic-related offense, loses his driver's licence (effective immediately), gets in the car and drives home. Along with his lawyer.
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9points
#20
My law teacher would tell stories about a juvenile court he used to work in in one of the more questionable areas of California. Apparently they had a real problem with defendants coming in with sagging pants and court officials showing up in beach clothes. The judge finally got so fed up with it that he kept a box of rope (for an impromptu belt) and a box of neckties behind his desk, and he'd begin court proceedings by lobbing ample amounts of both over his stand at anyone he felt was in need of them.
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9points