*If you haven’t already, take a communication break from this person. You may not want to, but zero contact!
*Feel sad. Grieve. You’ve lost something. It’s OK to not feel OK. Time really does fix things. Grief hits everyone and every relationship differently. Take the time you need and don’t let anyone make you feel like you should “get over it already” (including yourself).
*Avoid things that remind you of them. Pack up any objects and put them in a box. Delete pictures or put them in a folder in your phone that you don’t access. Avoid going to restaurants or other places you frequented. Eventually, you’ll be able to see pictures of them or go to the same restaurants again. Eventually, these things won’t matter. You just want to avoid triggering painful emotions for the time being. You don’t want to pour salt on open wounds. Give yourself time to heal!
*We make concessions and compromise when we’re in relationships. Make a list of all of things you gave up and put up with… no matter how petty it may seem. (It can be anything: I couldn’t eat seafood around him, because he hated the way it smelled. He frequently got urine on the toilet seat. Hated when he wore that stupid red jacket. Hogged the remote control.) Keep adding to it as you think of something else. Refer to this list anytime you find yourself ruminating about how much you miss them and relish in the things you can do now or that you don’t have to put up with anymore.
*Important! You need something to look forward to. Plan a trip! Make plans with friends. Go out! Have you given up on any hobbies? It’s time to start doing them again. Do all of these things!
*When you’re ready, start dating again. If it feels too awkward, you can put dating on pause. I caught myself mentally comparing my dates to my ex. So, I knew I wasn’t ready to date. I’d hit pause and try again a few months later. I knew I was really ready to “get back out there,” when I no longer found myself comparing others to my ex. That’s when I knew I was “over” him.