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14submissions
Finished
INSANE: Hey pandas tell me one messed up joke that is actually funny - The Real Truth
I really don't care what the joke is about just tell me a funny messed up joke.
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#1
WARNING this may come across slightly disturbing How do you put a baby in a bucket? A blender. How do you get it back out again? Tortilla chips 😋! What’s the best part about dead baby jokes? They never get old 😀
Final score:
3points
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#2
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds, though, and only once.
Final score:
2points
#3
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Final score:
2points
#4
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.” Patient: “Give me the good news first.” Doctor: “Your test results are back, and you have only two days to live.” Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?” Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Final score:
1point
#5
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather, not screaming like the passengers in his car.
Final score:
1point
#6
My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, “Knock knock,” we’d say, “Who’s there?” Then she’d say, “I can’t remember”… and start to cry.
Final score:
1point
#7
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my brother.
Final score:
1point
#8
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Final score:
1point
#9
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
Final score:
1point
#10
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Final score:
1point
#11
What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Final score:
1point
#12
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Final score:
1point
#13
Give a man a match He'll be warm for a day Light a man on fire He'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Final score:
1point
#14
The reason I don't consider pets as family: My uncle had 4 cats he considered his children. He also had a serious heart condition. One day he had a heart attack in the bathroom. a couple days later someone came in to find his family hunched over eating his remains.
Final score:
1point
What do you think ?
Your Neighborhood Alien 3 years ago
I hope you don't mind that I ended up giving you more than one joke...I figured there was no harm in it!
Your Neighborhood Alien 3 years ago
I hope you don't mind that I ended up giving you more than one joke...I figured there was no harm in it!
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