If you’ve been around the digital block for awhile, you’re probably familiar with “pick me” behavior. If not, a quick primer, a “pick me” is typically a woman who is desperate to show that she’s “not like other girls” and will often do things she’ll later find cringy.
Someone asked “Girl to girl: what’s the most millennial pick me thing you’ve ever done?” and people shared their somewhat embarrassing stories. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote the best examples and if you have any tales that fit the bill, feel free to add them to the comments sections below.
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At 17 actually believed the 27 year old that I "was so mature for my age" and "not like other girls" and that we couldn't tell anyone because "they just don't understand".... 🤦♀️ groomed into almost two years of an horrible relationship.
I want to shake every adult in my life who let that happen.
"Fun" fact - in teenage relationships, the larger the age gap, the higher chance of pregnancy - 3.7 times higher than with a peer when male is 6+ years older (Guttmacher Institute, "Age Differences Between S****l Partners in the United States,"). Same trend with STDs.
I was 5 feet tall drinking Burnett’s like water and doing keg stands at parties because I thought mediocre men would think I was fun and low maintenance.
I’m 38 now and I want to go back in time and carry her out of those sticky floored rooms.
Anyways, therapy is going great.
The amount of time I sat on a dirty as couch with filthy coffee table covered in trash ans bongs and beer cans, watching a guy play video games hoping they would like me? Embarrassing.
Believed grown men in their 30s when they told me at 16/17 I was really mature for my age.
I was small and underdeveloped. I could have passed for 13/14. Freaking gross.
Sat through a guy's whole band rehearsal so his band mates would think I was chill.
Only drank whisky bc I wasn't like other girls.
Lost my virginity to basically a stranger so the boy I ACTUALLY liked would think I was more on his experience level. Turned out he hadn't had intercourse yet at all.
When I was 13 my older sisters would take me to screamo concerts at random bars, and somehow we’d always end up in strangers’ cars with the bass shaking the entire vehicle while I had absolutely no idea where we were going.
As a mother now myself, I’m horrified.
Thought being provocatively dressed would make me seem cool and not like other girls.
I tolerated their gross jokes, let them slap my bum, or grab my breasts whenever they wanted. Even went so far as to hook up with them when I didn’t want to.
They’d say how the other girls in school were prudes but I was cool because I wasn’t stuck up. If I could go back in time I’d have stayed the hell away from guys all together until college.
A line i always used around guys: "you wanna hear a joke? Women's rights"
I did other things too but that one haunts me at night as an outspoken feminist. I would make teen me cry with guilt
After I broke up with my high school boyfriend for cheating on me, we were trying to work things out and he told me that I had to prove to him that I was worthy of getting back to him. Ladies, I sat there, clown shoes on and everything, proving to this boy that I was worthy of him. He cheated on me again.
When my first real boyfriend in college broke up with me, I got down on my knees and BEGGED him to take me back. My poor sweet summer child
Definitely rushed myself into a lot of sexual activity before I was ready, in an effort to seem “grown up” and “sophisticated”. Still sometimes asking myself what are my desires vs what do I think makes me “desirable”
This isn’t really related to being a millennial, rather just being a female… but FAKING IT to boost the ego of boys/men who truly needed to humbled
I (then an underweight college girl) was in line at the coffee shop. Several women ahead of me ordered nonfat drinks. I ordered a breve and said, “I laugh in the face of nonfat drinks!” to the guy behind me. He unfortunately affirmed my bull by acting like I was awesome.
It was just this non-dramatic moment, but I still cringe so hard. 😫 I was insecure about not being curvy, and sometimes it made me a jerk.
This is me, circa 2011 - at 21, in business casual, on the floor of someone's garage. Peep the hair pull to make sure the cleave is visible. I lost a game of beer pong (with bud light 🤮) and had to sit under the table for the next game as a "troll".
This was all an attempt to show the guy I liked how "cool and fun" I was and that I was "not like other girls" 😩
I wish I could hug her and tell her that by 35, we don't even like Men
I changed my MSN status to very emotional and specific lyrics so that people would ask me about it and then I'd act mysterious.
hated pink because it was too girly. now i drown in it, thrive in it, will let it consume me.
I hated pink when I was a little kid because it was "too girly". Over time I cared less about its "girliness", but I'm still not fond of it as a color XD Slate blue is my favorite color!
I used to tell guys their favorite music was also my favorite music until I met some guy whose favorite artist was underground so when I said oh I love him I’m going to his concert! I actually had to to go. The concert was in 2 days. I met up with said guy and acted like I knew all these songs.
Fun fact. The artist is actually my favorite artist now and I’ve never seen that man again.
I used to judge everyone in high school secretly by the brand of their jeans as they walked up the stairs in front of me. I knew all the brands , the logos and what stores they came from. I could identify every pair by the design on the back pockets or the grommet on the smaller pocket on the front . That’s how I always knew what emo guy was wearing chick jeans even if they lied and said they weren’t. I was like the NSA of Denim from 2003 to 2007.
I worked 3 jobs 7 days a week while going to school and being homeless because girl boss hustle culture brainwashed me into believing it would all work out instead of just giving me autoimmune diseases by age 25
I used to tell guys that I didn’t want kids because I thought that men didn’t want kids, & that it made me seem cool. Now it’s unlikely I can have kids & I’m gutted about it.
Starting in middle school I had to be the loudest, “funniest”, wildest, and most whimsical girl saying the most random things just because it gave me a ton of attention. I realized only about a decade later I am NOT that kind of girl. I don’t care to be everyone’s friend and I don’t like being the center of attention. I am also not a high pitched “screaming happy things” girly. I literally just like to exist for myself now.
These were my senior pictures (in my defense, it was 2009)
This is almost as bad as those Glamour Shots people did back in the 90's. 😂
I would regularly start cleaning at like 3 am at house parties so the 23 year old boys would realize what a good wife I could be.
“I prefer having guy friends because girls are too much drama.”
In my defense, I was regurgitating everything I had heard my mom say throughout my childhood. Grateful to say those influences have no hold on me today!
My entire teenage/early 20s life was cringey pick-me behavior. I can’t even bring myself to type anything 🥴
thanks to therapy, though, I know why I was like that lol.
oh there were many, but notable - i took a bunch of piercings out for a man in 2001. i say no to men just for fun in 2026.
Calling their phone then hanging up but acting like it was a butt dial… the text comes in… “what’s up?” “Oh, sorry. That was an accident”. Conversation initiated
Would somehow, someway without fail casually bring up that I can drive a manual transmission and then make guys feel less that because they can’t.
I told a guy “I’m not like other girls” while drunk at a bar
Anyway, I’m gay now.
Probably when I pretended to be a skater punk kid when I was 14 (2002). Kept that going till I was about 16. It was like a switch flipped that summer and I was like "what the..? Most boys are stupid. Do what you want to do". And I've been doing it ever since.
(Things you shouldn’t share on the internet)
Slept with a lot of men because I thought it would make them like me more
Joined the track team because a boy I liked was on it and I didn't get in the school play. My chubby self slowly running for 400 meters at meets, and he still didn't pick me! 😅 Kept going anyway, and ended up lettering and track even if I wasn't very good
When I went to my first fraternity date party, I tried to match my date drink for drink at the pregame and ended up blacking out and passing out on a couch and being left there by him and everyone else when the cops came. The girl that ended up being my best friend in the whole wide world actually took my carcass home because she was afraid that something would happen to me while I was there.
I allowed my ex (me: 22/him: 31) to feel so comfortable in my space/apt that he started treating my things like they were “our” things. Drove MY car, left it on empty. Brought HIS friend to MY apt late one night to let him crash - didn’t ask, yes, I was sleeping there too & it was a studio apt 🤦🏽♀️, stole $500 in cash from me the day before I was leaving for Europe-learned later he gambled it away. I think my “pick me” energy was how much I betrayed my own boundaries to make him feel “special”
Gave my guy friends the benefit of the doubt in every situation immediately just because they were nice to me.
I made Boondock Saints my whole personality for like a year
Oh god, I did that too! It was one of my boyfriend's favorite movies and when I watched it with him, I was desperate to make it one of MY favorite movies too. It's a fun movie, don't get me wrong, but at age 18/19 I was so cringe about it. I even made a little stuffed animal based on one of the characters and gave it to my boyfriend, going so far as to make a little trenchcoat for it and to embroider the character's tattoos onto the stuffed animal in thread XD EDIT to add: Yes, of course the stuffed animal was a wolf XD In the morning I'm going to ask if my ex still has it!
Fooling around with horrible men in gross college apartments while way too drunk to consent and “not caring” when they ignored me after bc I’m “chill and liberated and dgaf”
I’m gen z buuuut when I was like 15 I practically begged my parents to get me this call of duty t shirt for Christmas because I thought it would impress some guy I liked. Ive never even played the game TO THIS DAY
I got really good at playing beer pong because for some reason guys were really impressed by it?? 🤔 My cousin and I would “practice” all the time. But I got so good I’d end up staying at the table the whole party being challenged by guys who thought they could take me, and then after I beat them.. they’d show more interest. Every time, which why I believe they’re all really submissives on the inside. The only dude that got mad poured his beer on me and it was my best friends bf.
I wasn’t a pick me romantically but I was DESPERATE to be “one of the guys”. I went to a very writing-focused college and my desperation to be like my guy friends kept me from writing romance for years despite always being drawn to it (and later making a career of it.)
Thought I wasn't like other girls, but hated girls who claimed they "weren't like other girls". Hated pink, refused to wear dresses. Refused to listen to anything except rock, and most women in modern rock were just posers and doing it because they were "pick me's". I'm so glad I grew tf up
I made this my profile picture in 2012…
I’m a lesbian now
I used to steal dudes hats in high school 💀
I also trained myself to do my mascara with my mouth closed, so I wouldn’t be “like other girls”
Thought my “guy friends” were actual friends. Nearly every single one tried to fvck me and most were really my high school boyfriend’s closest “friends”. Now, I avoid men all together.
Oh my step-dad told me I should learn to drink gin and tonic ans whiskey and beer because dudes thinks girls who drink whiskey and beer and gin and tonic instead of "girly" drinks are super cool. So I turn 21 and choke down whiskey shots and beer for months trying to look cool for the dudes before a friend let me have a sip of her grapevodka and soda and I remembered things could taste good.
The first real alcohol I ever drank was Southern Comfort. I was 18. I thought it was cool to drink Southern Comfort. It was disgusting XD The last thing I remember from that night was walking around my boyfriend's parked car, apparently holding forth on a soliloquy about my dad's accident (which had just happened earlier that year) and trying to drink a soda from the wrong side of the can XD
Told men I didn’t want a relationship because I thought they liked women who didn’t want relationships.
Anyway, every single guy married the girl they dated after me 🤷🏻♀️ but I’ve been married to my true love since 2018.
I was a 9th grade juggalette
I think we all had a little juggalette in us during ICP's heyday in the 90s XD
I used to ask men what was wrong when they'd message me to vent. Last night one of those same guys that I haven't spoken to/seen/interacted with in any way in over 7 years messaged me on fb (we're not even friends so he had to seek me out). He expected me to beg him to talk to me. 🤡🤣🤣 Thank you therapy. (Blocked)
I got into liking American football. I don’t enjoy watching sports.
Hated sports throughout my entire life. My boyfriend liked American football, and so I learned everything about it. It ended up being okay in the long run, because I learned it's not entirely just musclebound men slamming into each other, and my home team is pretty cool, but good lort, those early "yahhh I'm a huge football fan even though I'm a girl!!!" years were pretty cringe XD
I hated Taylor Swift.
Lesbians (and ppl in general) seemed to dislike bi girls, so I just said I was a lesbian instead of bi to make my life easier. Very pick me behavior. Happy for the bi representation people have nowadays!
I owned three Aeropostale polo shirts, none of which fit me correctly. I didn't even like them, they were just the vibe before I realized I could do whatever tf I wanted.
When I was in the 8th grade (2005) I didn’t have money for a Valentine’s Day gift so I made my “boyfriend” a video of me singing and dancing. Thankfully it was a VHS and has hopefully been thrown away by now.
I used to brag how much I knew about football and that my dad was a football coach so I would the only girl invited to hangout on Sundays to watch the game.
Being an emotional sponge for guys (though I can't say I fully mind that I'm trusted as a friend and friend alone) and sticking with an alcoholic for years because I thought I couldn't do any better and wanted to prove how tough I was. That did not end well. He died two weeks after I finally moved out and left him after five years.
It's so f*****g sad that we women been conditioned like this by patriarchy. I've been there myself and you only want to be accepted.
Being an emotional sponge for guys (though I can't say I fully mind that I'm trusted as a friend and friend alone) and sticking with an alcoholic for years because I thought I couldn't do any better and wanted to prove how tough I was. That did not end well. He died two weeks after I finally moved out and left him after five years.
It's so f*****g sad that we women been conditioned like this by patriarchy. I've been there myself and you only want to be accepted.
