My BIL is recently divorced. The room he rents doesn't allow him to keep his kids (F11 and M9) on days he has them, so they stay with my MIL on those days.
Over the summer, my BIL asked if the kids could stay with me because he needed someone to watch them. I work from home and they're old enough to not need my full attention, so I agreed.
My husband and I noticed that when the kids were over they smelled pretty bad. My husband asked his brother when the last time they bathed was and he told him it had been a few days, and asked him if they smelled. My husband said yes, and his brother said he'd make sure they showered when they got home. My husband asked him why they weren't regularly bathing, and BIL said it was because their mom (MIL) made them feel uncomfortable.
Right away that response seemed like a red flag to me. I asked my husband what she could be doing to make them feel uncomfortable, and he instantly got defensive and kept telling me he didn't know.
A couple weeks later, I was texting back and forth with my SIL (BIL's ex wife). I asked he if she knew about her kids not bathing while they're with their dad, and she said she knew. That the reason was because their grandma (MIL) watches them while they shower.
I told my husband this information, and he didn't really react or seem shocked by it. I told him I no longer want our kids to be at his mom's house without him being present (I'm no contact with her, for other reasons) My husband agreed, but when I tried to talk to him about what his mom was doing, he got really defensive. So I hesitantly dropped the subject.
What shocks me is that I'm the only one here who really seems to be concerned about this. Why isn't anyone telling her that this isn't okay?
Over the summer, my BIL asked if the kids could stay with me because he needed someone to watch them. I work from home and they're old enough to not need my full attention, so I agreed.
My husband and I noticed that when the kids were over they smelled pretty bad. My husband asked his brother when the last time they bathed was and he told him it had been a few days, and asked him if they smelled. My husband said yes, and his brother said he'd make sure they showered when they got home. My husband asked him why they weren't regularly bathing, and BIL said it was because their mom (MIL) made them feel uncomfortable.
Right away that response seemed like a red flag to me. I asked my husband what she could be doing to make them feel uncomfortable, and he instantly got defensive and kept telling me he didn't know.
A couple weeks later, I was texting back and forth with my SIL (BIL's ex wife). I asked he if she knew about her kids not bathing while they're with their dad, and she said she knew. That the reason was because their grandma (MIL) watches them while they shower.
I told my husband this information, and he didn't really react or seem shocked by it. I told him I no longer want our kids to be at his mom's house without him being present (I'm no contact with her, for other reasons) My husband agreed, but when I tried to talk to him about what his mom was doing, he got really defensive. So I hesitantly dropped the subject.
What shocks me is that I'm the only one here who really seems to be concerned about this. Why isn't anyone telling her that this isn't okay?