#1 My Roommates Broke Into My Room And Started Stealing My Things
The other day, I woke up to yet another one of my belongings destroyed by their dog, and decided it was time to leave. I booked a house sitting gig in a neighboring town, so I have somewhere to go until at least the 19th. I packed as much stuff as I could in the past two days, but I still have some furniture and plants there.
It’s important to note that these people have repeatedly told me to take their cat, as they have 6 pets, and she doesn’t like anybody but me. She lived with them for 7 years and only let them pet her once. She told me at Thanksgiving and again last week that when I leave, I should take her. She even models at work with me, I got her registered under my name, and she’s chipped with my information. So I did take her with me when I left, and she seems a lot less stressed now that she’s away from all their dogs.
At 8:01, I got a notification from my bedroom camera that they entered my room. Not only that, I have footage of them taking my TV off the wall and unplugging my camera. When I texted them to turn it back on, she said, “Bring the cat back and we might”.
So I called the cops and reported. The sheriff assured me that it’d be taken care of, and I’m in proper ownership of the cat.
#2 This Was The Only Way To Ward Off My Roommate From Sipping Out Of My Mouthwash Without Me Knowing
Shared living is considerably more common than most people would voluntarily admit to at a dinner party. Nearly one in three American adults (approximately 79 million people) currently live in a "doubled-up" household, meaning they share a space with another adult who is not their spouse, partner, or a college student they can blame it on.
While young adults have historically dominated the roommate demographic, the fastest-growing group now adopting shared living arrangements is older adults, which means that the passive-aggressive note left on the fridge about the clearly labelled yoghurt is no longer exclusively a twenty-something problem. It has become, quietly and without fanfare, everyone's problem.
#4 Roommate Buzzed Their Hair And Left This In The Bathroom After Taking A Shower
#5 Came Home From A Double To Find My Roommate Had Left The Sink On For 7+ Hours
Only 31% of people living with one roommate describe themselves as genuinely happy with the arrangement. Drop in a second roommate, and that figure falls to 25%. Add a third, and it crawls back to 26%, which suggests that by the time you reach three roommates, you have either hit a new low or simply run out of the emotional bandwidth required to register dissatisfaction.
The takeaway is not subtle. Shared living is a compromise wrapped in a lease agreement, and the sooner everyone walks in knowing that, the better prepared they will be when someone eats the yoghurt.
#7 There Goes The Planter
It was still smoking at the time, though it seemed as though someone had drenched it with water (the mysterious knocker, thank you!).
Our roommate decided to go out for a smoke at 1 am and used the planter as an ashtray. When there was one mere step away.
Just one of the many things this guy has done: Leaves stovetops on overnight. Turns off the AC in 30 degree celsius weather. Let my cat outside on numerous occasions. Never locks the door.
Those are the main ones. The landlord is involved now, but the roommate has decided to be a child and ignore anything we say.
#8 My Roommate Decided It Was A Good Idea To Put An Incense Cone On The Lid Of My Telescope. Went Right Through And Landed On The Mirror
#9 When Your Flatmate Likes To Eat Seeds And Cleans The Floor Without Vacuuming First
A National Student Accommodation survey has done the important work of formally documenting what anyone who has ever shared a kitchen already knows in their bones. The single most complained-about roommate habit, cited by 62% of respondents, is leaving dirty dishes out. Not for an hour. Not by accident. Out. Lingering. Ageing. Becoming something else entirely.
Not helping with cleaning came in at 50%, followed by being too loud at 46%, leaving lights and appliances on at 38%. And the one that truly separates the merely annoying from the genuinely unforgivable is leaving food to rot, also at 38%. These are not edgy or unusual findings. They are a portrait of the same argument being had simultaneously in shared kitchens across the entire world, every single day, forever.
#10 My Roommate Thinks These Spatulas Are Clean And Still Uses Them To Cook
#12 My Roommate And I Own Only Two Pots. When He Cooks With Them, He Stores Any Leftovers From His Cooking In The Fridge In The Pots
And then there is the question that no one wants to be the first person to bring up in the house meeting, but absolutely everyone is thinking: if someone's partner is essentially living here, should they be contributing to the bills? According to surveys, 36% of renters believe the answer is yes.
A partner who sleeps over enough to have a dedicated drawer and a preferred shelf in the fridge has, at some point, crossed a line from guest into de facto housemate and should be treated accordingly. The other 64% have either not thought about it, decided it's not worth the argument, or are themselves the partner with the dedicated drawer and a strong personal interest in the current arrangement continuing unchanged.
#14 My Roommate Rips Holes In Garbage Bags To "Let The Air Out" When He Puts A New One In The Can
#15 My Roommate Randomly Takes Bites Out Of Leftovers In The Fridge In The Middle Of The Night. I Wish She'd At Least Take Bites Out Of One Thing At A Time
Cracked's list of the best fictional roommates includes Buster Bluth, the king of not being seen or heard, Buffy Summers, for her muscles and the home security aspect, Charlie Harper, who employs both a maid and a cook, and Molly Weasley, who cleans and cooks and asks for nothing in return, which is frankly unrealistic.
Our own list would add Chandler Bing, who pays his half on time and compensates for everything else with humour, Jessica Day from New Girl, who is chaotic but well-meaning and would absolutely remember to buy washing up liquid, and Samwise Gamgee, who cooks, gardens, asks for very little, and would follow you into a volcano without being asked twice.
#16 Found The Source Of The Nasty Smell In Our Apartment
I finally lifted the lid off the bowl on my roommate's side of the counter to find these nasty, watery, moldy black beans. You bet I put some gloves on before touching the lid. This "stew" has been sitting there for weeks.
I never thought to check the bowl since it was covered by a plate. I honestly don't know what my roommate was trying to achieve by letting it sit for that long or what her original plans were. I've since thrown the entire thing out, bowl and plate included, and sent her a text. I finally got a response from her after over an hour. This is what she said: "My bad, I do not remember adding water to that, but yea ill throw it away, thanks."
Regardless of the water, beans should not be fermenting on the counter for weeks. You're also telling me that every time you went to pick up a spatula or make tea (that's where she keeps all her things), you never noticed? I'm not sure what her intent was with them originally, but this is disgusting, and it would have sat there for god knows how much longer if I didn't say anything.
#17 I Now Need To Keep My Hygiene Products In A Mini Locker Because My Roommate Is A Klepto. Took Me A Ridiculous Amount Of Time To Build
#18 My Roommate Claims That This Tiny Fan I Have Outside My Door Causes Some Kind Of Mysterious Airflow Into Her Room Across, And Makes Her Cold
Every list has a ceiling, and for the title of worst roommate in recorded history, the ceiling belongs to Dorothea Puente. Operating a Sacramento boarding house in the 1980s, Puente presented herself as a warm, grandmotherly landlady who took in vulnerable elderly tenants and cared for them with apparent devotion. What she was actually doing was sedating them, offing them, burying them in the backyard.
She then continued to cash their Social Security checks. At least seven tenants met this fate before authorities eventually dug up her garden and put the pieces together. Puente was convicted of three of these acts in 1993. The lesson here, if one is needed, is that "seemed really nice at the viewing" has historically been a limited screening process, and perhaps further questions are warranted.
#19 Am I Overreacting To My Roommate’s "Rules" For The Kitchen?
