So I posted on here a little while ago about my room mate using up all my baby wipes and he said to me he would stop. Well the past 2 days he started doing it again along with using my tooth paste and not even f*cking being kind enough to put the cap back on after using it.
So I confronted him about this AGAIN and he said "Whatever I don't give a shit, hide it somewhere then". Nah... nah I will keep it there, I have an idea.
A couple days ago he said he has a girl coming over and would like to get some action and leave him alone. I said OK no worries. So about an hour before she came over I pretended to leave and said I am heading out for the night. 5 minutes later I snuck back in while he was making dinner for the both of them.
I got to my room and hid in there knowing that for a fact at some point in the night she would ask to use the bathroom, and I needed to take a shit. So 45 minutes goes by and she arrived and I am just waiting. About 2 hours after she gets there I hear him go take a piss. AH perfect! he went first!
Now time to take a big fat f*cking shit. I run into the bathroom and crap as quiet as I possibly can. A huge load. And I don't flush or put the lid down. I go back to my room and wait. I stare at the clock and sit there giggling like Quagmire, exactly 28 minutes go by and whoooop There she goes, into the bathroom.
She was in there for exactly 6 seconds and came out. 7 minutes later she leaves.
Guess who isn't getting any pussy.