Exiting the local home improvement store with a spring in my step I started running while pushing my shopping cart full of light bulbs and cat litter.
I had built up considerable speed and with one last massive push I hopped in the air expecting this shopping cart to have the same design as the models used at my local grocery store. (You put one or two feet on the cross support and ride the cart).
This was not at all the same design and my foot had nothing to land on except the rapidly moving ground.
I bounced and folded halfway into the cart one moment, the next the cart flipped end over end and I was rolling on the ground.
6-8 people saw me do this and 2 of the dozen light bulbs were broken.
I wish I could go back and say to the onlookers "I meant to do that".

Well, when i was a douchey 19 or 20 yr old, my friends and i crashed a frat party at a local college. we end up starting some [mess] with the frat bros and it spilled outside. we're all pouring outside and talking [trash] when my friend, who is standing a good ways behind me, fires a beer bottle at the group of fratties. unfortunately the bottle hits me in the back of the head and split my head wide open. we immediately leave, but my loser friends manage to convince me that the cut isnt that bad and take me home instead of to a hospital. from that point its a mystery what happened. i woke up the next day on the floor with my television on top of me. i dont fight anymore.