One time my uncle put ranch dressing on a dry-aged NY strip steak that cost 70$.

My sister-in-law worked on a ski hill. One week there was a promotion by a company where they would blow up big inflatables (like the big gorillas you see in car lots). She had seen them blow them up and deflate them for days, so she knew what the deflated ones looked like. One day she was leaving work and one of these deflated mascot thingies was right behind her car. My sister-in-law has never stolen anything in her entire life, but at that moment she decided out of the blue that she wanted that blow-up. She plopped it in the back and drove home. When I came to visit a couple weeks later she was freaking out about it. She asked me if I wanted it, just to get the evidence out of her house. That is the story of how I came to own a 2-story-high inflatable cow.