You will have to be a mind reader to recognize a disingenuous friendship. The person can laugh with you, hang out, and call themselves your “bestie” while also resenting you behind your back. Oftentimes, the hostility is never obvious.
These people seem to have learned that lesson the hard way, as they share their experiences in a recent Threads post. Their stories still carry some pain and regret because, as those who’ve been through it may know, the sting of betrayal tends to linger.
If you’ve gone through similar ordeals, feel free to share them in the comments below.
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#1
When I was trying to get healthy and lose weight and she kept telling me that how I look so bad/ ugly after weight loss. I had to give up alcohol because of fatty liver issues and she would force me to drink and would get upset if I didnt. Eventually I had to let her go.
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#2
When everyone in the friend group knew my boyfriend was cheating with another girl out of the group and they said it was something I needed to find out on my own so no one told me.
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#3
When she got engaged I asked her when the wedding was literally every month. She would tell me she hadn’t picked a date. Then one day (appx a week after the last time asking her ) I see a few mutual friends in Vegas for her BACHELORETTE PARTY with her. Her wedding was the following week. This was someone I considered to be one of my closest friends. She was gonna be in MY wedding. I still have no clue why she did this.
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#4
Whenever I’d bring someone over she would tell the most embarrassing stories about me to them.
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#5
I had a “friend” that told me that I shouldn’t leave my job at the company we worked at together to get a 20K pay increase. Girl, what!
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#6
When I spent 17 days in the hospital after my appendix burst and went septic. A couple of close friends who knew how serious it was never texted, called, or checked in. That told me everything I needed to know.
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#7
When we'd go out, I'd play wingman and talk to guys and introduce them to her. Often, they'd ask for my number and I noticed her whole attitude would change afterwards. And then she was drunk one night and said I was her "duff" and laughed in my face. I realized then I wasn't her friend, I was her competition. That ended a 30 year friendship.
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#8
We were hanging out just chit chatting; it was like 3 couples including my husband and I. We were joking about things we’d add to our homes & I said, “ooh a bookshelf with a wheeled ladder!” Excitedly. This j*** looked at me like I was stupid & said, “calm down belle wannabe!” I knew. And what solidified it was when she minimized my job as a cake decorator cause in her words, that job wasn’t going anywhere innovative. As if cake decorators can’t be creative & make amazing cakes.
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#9
After I got married, she (one of my bridesmaids) said she thought my husband only married me because I was light skin and she felt that was the only reason I got married before her. We are celebrating 13 years next month. She’s still single.
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#10
Ugh. When I wouldn’t break Covid lockdown rules for her and she told me never to contact her again. Fine. We’ve since moved. No landline. She doesn’t know our address and her mobile is blocked. Made me realise how narcissistic she was.
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#11
When they accidentally sent me a chat message meant for someone else admitting to hating me.
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#12
My bestie turned into an enemy after 16 years. We were like sisters and even worked together, but I kept catching her talking so much trash about me especially when she didn't get her way. It was always a guilt trip from h**l and it was a lot of emotional manipulation because I was a doormat. It took me a long time to actually stand up to her, but I did. Apparently my boundaries made me "fake" because she got too used to me being a pushover. I cut her off 4 years ago and never spoke to her again.
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#13
When I asked them for support after my father passed away and they said I was “looking for a pity party”.
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#14
Back in 2013, when I was pregnant with my daughter. She told me she’d help throw my baby shower. The day before, I couldn’t reach her. She had blocked me on everything and left me high and dry. I never spoke to her again, figured her jealousy of my relationship (that I am STILL in) was too much for her. Ahh, well.
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#15
After I made several attempts to hangout and they cited me being recently married as the reason we don’t spend time together rather than the fact that they simply did not follow through with the plans I attempted to make. But then proceeded to ask for favors including having me and my wife watch their child for a week.
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#16
I started losing weight and my “friend” told me I couldn’t lose more weight than her so she went and had surgery. After her surgery she said “Ok big girl. When you gone lose some more weight?” Mind you, she’s always been bigger than me.
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#17
She found out who my crush was (she had never met him) and immediately started messaging him. Its been 20 years. I'm still besties with him. She's apparently still trying to sleep with him.
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#18
When she gained weight, and had trouble shopping for clothes. She told me that her first thought was, “So, this is how it feels to be Molly.” (I’m Molly.)
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#19
When we both got degrees and she said “well I actually went and sat in class” My degree was online.
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#20
When they abandoned me and another friend in a forest in the mountains for hours.
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