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A wedding is a huge milestone in people’s lives, which is why the bridal couple often goes to extreme lengths to make sure everything goes well. Unfortunately, through the process, there can be drama with family members and friends, which can be tough to handle.
This is what one bride experienced after letting her best friend help with wedding planning, only to have their 9-year friendship completely fall apart. The bride couldn’t figure out exactly why this happened, and she was shocked when the truth was finally revealed.
More info: Reddit
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When long-term friendships break out of the blue, it can leave folks feeling confused and hurt
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that since money was tight, her parents loaned their backyard for her marriage, and her best friend, Amy, offered to be her wedding planner
Image credits: Lifestylememory / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The bride noticed that a lot of her ideas clashed with Amy’s during the planning process, but she didn’t mind it as much and wanted to repay her friend once the wedding was done
Image credits: pvproductions / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, once the event got over, Amy ghosted the poster for 2 months, and later said that she wanted to end the friendship as she had been “hurt many times”
Image credits: freepic.diller / Magnific(not the actual photo)
Since the poster didn’t know how she had caused her friend pain, she reached out to the Internet for advice, and many folks said Amy might have felt underappreciated for her effort
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The woman then reached out to Amy and apologized for not showing enough gratitude to her and her family for the wedding planning, but her friend clarified that wasn’t the reason
Image credits: Choice_Evidence1983
Amy said that since their wedding ideas clashed and the poster was so disorganized, it showed how different they were from each other, which is why she had ended the relationship
Even though the OP and her partner had been engaged for nearly 6 years, they couldn’t set a date for their wedding because they still needed to get their finances in order. When they finally decided on the date for the event, the poster’s parents lent their backyard for the ceremony, and her best friend volunteered to be the wedding planner.
According to marriage experts, it’s not really advisable to have a relative or loved one plan your big day, as the chances for uncomfortable situations arising are quite high. This could be especially likely if they have a very different point of view about what the wedding should look like and don’t listen to you.
This is exactly what the poster faced because her bestie, Amy, felt she needed a whole new makeup set, even though she didn’t need one. Even when the bride explained that she wanted a tea-party-themed wedding, her friend tried to dissuade her from it. Despite all this clashing of ideas, the poster was incredibly grateful for Amy’s help and support.
According to wedding planners, people need to seriously consider who they’d like to help them make the important decisions for their big day. They shouldn’t just let a family member or friend do it, as it can lead to a lot of conflict. People can also just do the planning themselves if they aren’t able to give up control or have a very specific vision for the event.
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster was so grateful to Amy and her family for their help during her wedding and wanted to do something nice for them later on. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to realize that her bestie wasn’t on the same page at all, and seemed to be mad with her about something. She only realized this 2 months later, because Amy hadn’t texted her once after she got married.
Being ghosted like this by a close friend can be quite painful, and people who have been through such situations reveal that it can completely catch you off guard. The reason why it can hurt so much is that folks never expect their bestie to just ditch them like that without any closure or talk.
This is exactly what the poster faced because when she asked Amy why she hadn’t reached out for 2 months, the other woman explained that she wanted to end the friendship. She didn’t explain exactly what had led her to make such a decision, but she revealed that it was because she had been hurt by the OP so many times.
This confused the poster, and after an outpouring of advice from netizens, she apologized to Amy for not expressing her gratitude during the wedding planning process. Unfortunately, her ex-bestie said that she was actually mad that their ideas clashed so much during the event, which is why she had decided to end the friendship.
This must have been quite tough for the poster to accept, but it made her realize that she needed to pay more attention to her buddies and possibly not hire a loved one as a wedding planner next time.
What are your thoughts on this story, and do you think the OP was truly to blame for this friendship breakup? We’d love to hear your honest thoughts on the situation.
Folks were shocked that the poster was treated like she was in the wrong, when Amy should have communicated her feelings better
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What do you think ?
KatSaidThat 3 days ago
I'm confused - Amy inserted herself into every decision and is sulking because it didn't all go her way and the appreciation was not enthusiastic enough? Or did I miss something?
JB 3 days ago (edited)
The way I read the original and update is that Amy offered to help, but, instead, seized the role of primary organizer. She had a concept of how SHE thought the wedding should be, and got increasingly frustrated when neither the bride nor groom fully bought into her perfectly organized vision: so things either didn’t exactly match what she wanted or weren’t done on her timeline. Multiple times, she pushed back on the bride and groom saying they had something handled, by saying it had to be done her way or would be confusing. She also refused to accept, “we’re perfectly ok, with [whatever]” because she knew better than OP what OP wanted for herself. It wasn’t about gratitude, her beef was their failure to meet her expectations and allow her absolute control over their wedding. Unfortunately, neither Amy nor OP can see the difference between helping vs imposition. In all fairness, it’s hard to draw that distinction when so much real and wanted assistance was given.
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 3 days ago
The second I read LDS I rolled my eyes. This is a very typical pattern of behavior for LDS females and impossible to negotiate. They simply refuse to take no for an answer and then blame you for it.
Crystalwitch60 19 hours ago
Yup u n me both , made perfect sense before the update then didnt it lol
Load More Replies...
Robin Roper 15 hours ago
Amy/friend is a control freak/Type A personality and OP isn't. OP is laid back but not an AH. It's like saying I'm your friend and will lay expectations upon you that I don't tell you about and you don't want and then get angry when you don't live up to those expectations.
KatSaidThat 3 days ago
I'm confused - Amy inserted herself into every decision and is sulking because it didn't all go her way and the appreciation was not enthusiastic enough? Or did I miss something?
JB 3 days ago (edited)
The way I read the original and update is that Amy offered to help, but, instead, seized the role of primary organizer. She had a concept of how SHE thought the wedding should be, and got increasingly frustrated when neither the bride nor groom fully bought into her perfectly organized vision: so things either didn’t exactly match what she wanted or weren’t done on her timeline. Multiple times, she pushed back on the bride and groom saying they had something handled, by saying it had to be done her way or would be confusing. She also refused to accept, “we’re perfectly ok, with [whatever]” because she knew better than OP what OP wanted for herself. It wasn’t about gratitude, her beef was their failure to meet her expectations and allow her absolute control over their wedding. Unfortunately, neither Amy nor OP can see the difference between helping vs imposition. In all fairness, it’s hard to draw that distinction when so much real and wanted assistance was given.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 3 days ago
The second I read LDS I rolled my eyes. This is a very typical pattern of behavior for LDS females and impossible to negotiate. They simply refuse to take no for an answer and then blame you for it.
Crystalwitch60 19 hours ago
Yup u n me both , made perfect sense before the update then didnt it lol
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 15 hours ago
Amy/friend is a control freak/Type A personality and OP isn't. OP is laid back but not an AH. It's like saying I'm your friend and will lay expectations upon you that I don't tell you about and you don't want and then get angry when you don't live up to those expectations.
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