#1
Well, when the bells were ringing and his casket was being loaded into the hearse, there was an ice cream truck with free ice cream. I was bawling and smiling at the same time.
#2
#3
So the sisters (with the permission of Daisy's husband) nicked the wreath from the hearse, got frocked up and took Daisy for one last drink down Canal Street, eventually pulling the petals from the wreath and allowing them to float down the canal to eternity.
Funerals help us mourn, grieve, and lean on each other when we feel weak. They bring families and friends together to share the load of loss.
Yet, none of us are experts at this. Most people rarely plan a funeral, and some have barely even attended one.
Because it is so unfamiliar, the solemn, formal atmosphere feels totally out of step with everyday life. Without a script or practice, people quickly panic — and that is usually when the awkward moments happen.
#4
#5
#6
His sister steps up to do a eulogy, has his frame, haircut and eyebrows. The stiffled giggles start. It was basically him. Just in a bad dress. It was like he had faked his passing to dodge creditors and this was to make it convincing. It was so wrong to laugh that it made it funnier. Someone would flash wide eyes and someone else.wouzld lose it.
Then the voice....hers was exactly the same.
People were running out the back door with hands over their mouths. You could hear the laughs from the car park.
But why do some people feel awkward or behave badly at funerals?
For many, funerals are a heavy emotional trigger. They force us face-to-face with deep loss, and crying in front of a crowd can feel terrifying.
On top of that heartbreak, there is pure social panic. People worry so much about saying the wrong thing or breaking an unspoken rule that their anxiety spikes. Some even avoid going altogether just to escape the pressure.
#7
#8
My grandmother was free spirit and probably wouldn't be able to stop laughing had she...been there.
#9
Being near a casket or a grave also forces some people to face the reality of mortality and their own eventual passing.
That sudden confrontation can trigger a strange psychological defense mechanism. For some, it causes nervous laughter or inappropriate jokes at the worst possible time. For others, anxiety turns into a total lack of filter, leading to wildly insensitive comments just to fill an uncomfortable silence or break the tension.
“An expression of laughter can be what we call a manic defence, almost like a coping strategy but in a defensive way. Anything to divert the reality of what is happening and the reality of loss and human vulnerability and the end of life,” clinical psychologist Dr Abigael San explains.
#10
#11
Everyone seated already, we walk in behind the coffin.
I look around at the people to see if I can spot any of the extended family.
I see my grandad sitting in the back row.
He has an identical twin.
My mum/uncle/nan knew about him but never expected him to turn up. Theyd only seen him once before ever. The grandkids had no idea about him. They had a massive falling out when they were teenagers and never spoke again.
When service finished mum came and asked how I was, I asked "mum, why is grandad standing over there?"
Her face fell, she said "oh dang", one of the few times I heard her swear up to that point.
She went and found my uncle and his kids, they then told us the above story so we wouldn't be too freaked out.
That triggered a kind of reconnection of his part of the family and ours, been 18 years now and we see him a couple times a year. Shame he and grandad never got to reconcile.
#12
Not every funeral moment is awkward chaos or accidental insensitivity. Many of the best stories are genuinely humorous and heartwarming — like a late musician who curated their own final playlist to catch people off guard. Or someone who cracked a calculated dark joke to ease the room's heavy tension.
Research shows dark humor is a powerful emotional regulator — it helps people process trauma, lower cortisol, and rebuild social cohesion.
A National Institutes of Health study revealed that internet memes and lighthearted content during pandemic lockdowns helped reduce tension, anxiety, and depressive symptoms. When people face intense stress, humor acts as a mental safety valve.
Science also proves that laughter triggers the endocrine system, releases endorphins, lowers the stress hormone cortisol, and boosts immune responses.
#13
They caught it pretty quickly, but those first few bars were enough to send a wave of stifled laughter through the younger cohort of the congregation, which we never really recovered from.
#14
Secondly, in laws got the date wrong and attended the wrong funeral. Sat through the whole service and had to sneak away after giving the dearly departeds family their condolences.
#15
At her grandmother’s funeral - one of her cousins gestured to my grandfather and said ‘oh, he’ll be next’. it upset my mum and my aunt so much they didn’t speak to him for over a decade.
my grandad is currently outliving everyone in my family - including my grandmother, her sister (+ her husband), her brother (who was the cousin’s father), my dad - and the cousin himself.
Dark jokes or random careless comments need the right setting to land. To pull them off, you have to be close to the people around you, know how they react, and trust that they will understand your heart.
That is why humor is not a universal fix for awkward or sad moments.
Dark humor requires careful context and consent. When delivered without a safety net, it can alienate grieving family members, mask unaddressed pain, or trigger someone’s emotional wounds.
#16
He was obsessed with orange TIc-Tacs. Any flavor, really, but liked the orange ones the best. So, to be a smartass (which he would have liked), I put out an entire basket of Tic-Tacs near the sign-in book thingy that they have. Our traditional family's Catholic funeral was disturbed by the 'shakey-shakey' of about a dozen kids trying to eat their Tic-Tacs. Funny thing is, I was actually rooting for this to happen - the man wasn't even Catholic, yet my family insisted on a fancy funeral.
TL;DR - The guests were not impressed with my passing out Tic-Tacs during the funeral. He would have been - *telepathic high-five, Pops!*.
#17
#18
I went to a funeral when I was 18 for an 18 year old friend. Didn't know many people there. I walked up the path to the church where the hearse was, containing the coffin. There were 4 girls stood round the coffin, on Snapchat, photographing it and adding location filters etc. Was sickening.
A study found that more than 60% of grieving participants reported receiving comments they considered unhelpful.
These included remarks that tried to highlight the “positive” side of their loved one’s passing or reassurances that time would “heal” everything. People also compared it to others who had it worse or suggested they would eventually “get over it.”
Grief isn't one-size-fits-all, yet people often fall back on familiar phrases when unsure.
#19
He was mid 40s when he passed and left behind a wife and two daughters.
Half way through the service one of the daughters spoke and said that they will play his favourite song.
Up came “Lady Marmalade” at full volume.
All of his workmates who were sitting in line all looked at one another until one of them commented.
“Dang, he was a dark horse wasn’t he?
(Means he was full of secrets).
I had to bend over double to hide myself from the congregation as I was close to tears of laughter.
I’d like to think that’s what “Matey” would have wanted.
#20
She was great, I just never realised she was ‘the second coming’ great.
In the past decade, there’s been a rise of the “happy funeral,” with celebration becoming a well-established funeral trend. A UK survey found that 68% of people now think funerals should feel more like a celebration of life than just a solemn reflection.
More families are ditching all-black dress codes and asking guests to wear favorite colors or casual clothes that reflect the person who passed away. Funeral directors have even been asked to hold ceremonies on London buses, at castles, or in cricket pavilions, as families try to make the day feel more personal and less solemn.