Many parents may struggle to understand their young kids, especially when they act out. As a result, they may lose their patience trying to deal with these “annoying behaviors.”
However, experts say that these “bad things” that kids do are actually signs of good parenting. One of them, believe it or not, is when a child says they “hate” you or that you’re the “worst parent.”
As clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy tells Good Housekeeping, when a child vocalizes strong emotions instead of internalizing them, they believe their parents can handle their big feelings.
“Kids say this when they're flooded and can't access their words for the real feeling underneath, usually hurt, disappointment, or feeling unheard,” Dr. Kennedy said. “A kid who's terrified of their parent's reaction doesn't risk saying this.”
A child arguing against limits set by their parents may seem like spoiled-brat behavior. However, Dr. Kennedy says it can also show trust and even a belief that the relationship survives their worst moments.
“If your child calmly accepted it and walked away? That might mean they're complying from fear, not learning to tolerate disappointment,” she explained.
Many people who post their child-rearing anecdotes in a humorous way fit the definition of “fun parents.” They’re the ones who embrace their playful sides and would likely let go of rigid rules to enjoy the moment with their kids.
While being the fun parent may seem like a good idea, experts say it also has some downsides. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tamar Kahane, the problem may arise between the couple.
Speaking with Parents.com, Dr. Kahane says the failure to establish and maintain boundaries may lead to friction.
“When one parent struggles to maintain boundaries, it leaves the other parent feeling like the police officer, frustrated and alone in their parental role,” she said.
There are many ways to be a fun-loving parent without straining the relationship. Dr. Kahane says it can be as simple as bonding with the child through an activity like baking, reading silly books, or listening to music.
But her biggest piece of advice is to let the child lead playtime and immerse yourself in their world.
