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Some believe that toxic femininity is about women using their “feminine” qualities to manipulate men. But many experts argue that's not the case. In reality, they say toxic femininity involves a woman restricting their behavior to fit stereotypically feminine traits that men supposedly find pleasing.
It's more common, and more harmful, than many might think. According to Monica Vermani, a clinical psychologist and author of A Deeper Wellness: Conquering Stress, Mood, Anxiety and Traumas, toxic femininity can affect a woman's health and well-being by increasing stress levels, sabotaging their sense of identity, contributing to a feeling of powerlessness, and leading to unhealthy relationships.
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“Both toxic masculinity and femininity are unhealthy as they pressure individuals to fit a mold rather than strive to live and relate to others authentically, as their highest and best selves,” explains the expert.
Licensed therapist Meaghan Rice, says that toxic femininity often happens as a subconscious effort to find value or feel accepted in a patriarchal society. In some cases women are explicitly told to conform to traditional stereotypes. In others, they attempt to align with those stereotypes themselves.
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"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
No, you're just a [jerk].
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Women don't need to wear dresses or makeup or similar. Let them do and wear what they want.
Toxic femininity sometimes goes unnoticed. It can manifest as docility, or the idea that women should always be ready to take orders. "They should be 'flexible' in their thinking and only live to be of service," adds the VeryWell Mind site.
It can also show up as hyper-femininity, or the pressure to behave in a stereotypical feminine way. Confident women are told that their attitude is unattractive or "unbecoming" of a lady, while women wearing mini-skirts are told that they are "looking for trouble."
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Not sure if this applies to other cultures too. I hope it doesn't. I never had the chance to be a child.
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Toxic femininity can be highly contradictory, with rules and regulations forever changing. For example, explains VeryWell Mind, some believe wearing heels to work is a must essential. Others are against women drinking beer because it is “masculine.” Then there are those who believe that women are incomplete without a male partner or a husband to depend on. God forbid you decide to remain child-free.
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Toxic femininity is not only toxic to society, but it be toxic to a woman's physical and mental health, too. For example, trying to keep up with unrealistic beauty standards can lead to body dysmorphia and eating disorders. Or trying to keep up with unrealistic expectations when it comes to balancing child-care, work, chores and romantic partners can lead to stress, exhaustion and more.
“Toxic femininity can result in severe burnout from taking on the physical and emotional labor of those around you. Chronic stress can also contribute to serious health conditions, like ulcers, cancer, stroke, and heart disease,” warns Vermani.
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Also how some women get so vile and merciless when discussing how other women are aging.
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* Mean girls.
* Talking over others
* Belittling others whether face to face or through gossip mongering.
* Passive aggression - think eye-rolling, patronizing comments, fake laughing and niceties, smiley faces following a harsh-worded email, etc.
* Jealousy, resentment, and bitterness towards other women for their looks, popularity, and professional performance.
* Competing with other female colleagues through their looks, dominance, work, or sexuality.
* Pregnancy culture
* Supermom culture
* Wedding culture
* Dating culture.
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