Guy I was dating at the time asked me to be his valentine and invited me for a date on Valentine’s Day - I said yes, he said “let’s get each other a gift!” Nothing expensive but I think it would be fun.” I said “ok I’m in!” I showed up with a heart shaped box of chocolates - he showed up with nothing. He laughed at me when I gave him the chocolates!!! And then he says “thanks for dressing up for me…” sarcastically. I was wearing cute jeans and a t shirt that fit really well (I looked good, I always like to look nice) meanwhile he was wearing a dirty sweatsuit that he worked in (personal trainer) with visible sweat stains and had not showered.
He then went on to say I bought “cheap” drugstore chocolates. At least I brought you a present! The gifts weren’t even my idea! I felt like such a dummy giving this guy a heart shaped box of candy, fully expecting to get something cheesy back like a rose or a teddy bear. Other people in the restaurant very clearly clocked what was going on - I got several looks of sympathy/pity from neighboring tables. I didn’t even know if I liked him yet - it was our third date!!! The freaking presents were his idea and I ended up looking like I was obsessed with him.
Before we ordered drinks I explained to him why what he did was bad and that if he likes a girl he should definitely never do it again. “Generally it’s considered rude for a person to suggest a gift exchange and then not actually bring a gift - makes the other person feel like a jerk and reveals the suggester to BE a jerk.” I also suggested he take a shower and wear some real clothes on his next date.
“You don’t see anything wrong with negging me for “not dressing up” while you showed up in nasty workout gear? my outfit is casual, but we are at a casual restaurant and I’m clean and I look nice. You aren’t even clean - I can smell you from across the table.” Good hygiene is kind of the bare minimum requirement as far as appearance goes in dating. He couldn’t even do that. got up told him to keep the chocolates and I left. Learned my lesson lol. He looked totally shocked that I was leaving and acted like I was a “dramatic” crazy lady. Since then I only get someone a gift when asked for secret Santa!! Otherwise, if you want to give me a gift, go ahead! If I want to give you someone a gift - I will make that decision on my own. Never again!!! I hope he ate the chocolates and cried and got a cavity.
He then went on to say I bought “cheap” drugstore chocolates. At least I brought you a present! The gifts weren’t even my idea! I felt like such a dummy giving this guy a heart shaped box of candy, fully expecting to get something cheesy back like a rose or a teddy bear. Other people in the restaurant very clearly clocked what was going on - I got several looks of sympathy/pity from neighboring tables. I didn’t even know if I liked him yet - it was our third date!!! The freaking presents were his idea and I ended up looking like I was obsessed with him.
Before we ordered drinks I explained to him why what he did was bad and that if he likes a girl he should definitely never do it again. “Generally it’s considered rude for a person to suggest a gift exchange and then not actually bring a gift - makes the other person feel like a jerk and reveals the suggester to BE a jerk.” I also suggested he take a shower and wear some real clothes on his next date.
“You don’t see anything wrong with negging me for “not dressing up” while you showed up in nasty workout gear? my outfit is casual, but we are at a casual restaurant and I’m clean and I look nice. You aren’t even clean - I can smell you from across the table.” Good hygiene is kind of the bare minimum requirement as far as appearance goes in dating. He couldn’t even do that. got up told him to keep the chocolates and I left. Learned my lesson lol. He looked totally shocked that I was leaving and acted like I was a “dramatic” crazy lady. Since then I only get someone a gift when asked for secret Santa!! Otherwise, if you want to give me a gift, go ahead! If I want to give you someone a gift - I will make that decision on my own. Never again!!! I hope he ate the chocolates and cried and got a cavity.