HISTORICAL FACTS: Things people pretend normal are toxic modern dating msn - Caught on Camera

Whether you only want to have some fun or are holding out for a serious commitment, today's love scene comes with a whole lot of weird baggage that we, for some reason, decided is no big deal. So, Reddit user JustLittleGirl_ thought it was time for a reality check, and kicked off a conversation on the platform, asking, "What’s something people pretend is normal in modern dating, but is actually insanely toxic when you think about it?" The answers poured in, and they're as honest, frustrating, and painfully relatable as they can get.

Click here & follow us for more lists, facts, and stories.

So this makes me think of the guy in Bristol who set up his piano in public and vowed to not stop playing until he won back his ex girlfriend. To start people were like “this is so romantic” but it’s actually really toxic and gross. You got dumped. They don’t want you back. Don’t make a public spectacle to try and bully/shame her into taking you back.

“Displays of love” like that always creep me out.

"Dating in 2025, I feel, is like a paradox," Holly Schiff, Psy.D., tells Bored Panda.

Schiff is a licensed clinical psychologist in Connecticut, New York, and Rhode Island, as well as a registered telehealth psychologist in Florida, and says, "We have more access to potential partners than ever before, but many people still feel lonelier or more overwhelmed by the process."

"Ghosting, commitment issues, and a fear of vulnerability are common, but I think there is also a real desire for authenticity and emotional safety. The dating landscape in 2025 is high-tech, fast-paced, and emotionally complex," she adds.

Expecting someone to drop their opposite-s*x friendships. I know there are people that believe men and women can’t be just friends, but in my opinion we can especially when there are healthy boundaries and everyone is mature and respectful. Like yes, let me just immediately drop this person I’ve been friends with for years because you’re insecure?

All in all, people seem to be content with it. Results of the Forbes Health/OnePoll survey, which surveyed 5,000 Americans who have actively dated in the last five years, show that nearly 60% feel either very or somewhat positive about dating. 23% feel indifferent to dating, and just over 13% report negative feelings toward it. Additionally, men appear to be more optimistic (68%) than women (55%).

If we were to take a closer look at what people are paying attention to, a poll by Change Research of adults between 18 and 34 would reveal that women's biggest red flag when looking for a relationship is a date revealing they're a MAGA Republican, with 76% of them saying it's a turnoff.

The second biggest red flag for women is folks who "have no hobbies" (66%), and the third is those who say, "All Lives Matter" (60%).

When it comes to men in the same age group, the biggest turn-off is people who identify as "communist" (64%), but they also have problems with those who have no hobbies (60%), as well as MAGA Republicans (59%).

Other turnoffs for men include being interested in astrology (41%) and saying, "All Lives Matter” (41%).

Testing people instead of being honest.

On the other hand, both men and women overwhelmingly agreed that they are very interested in potential partners who read: 95% of women and 91% of men said reading is a green flag.

They also agreed that they are interested in people who research the best deals and rates before buying things: 88% of women listed being a smart consumer as a green flag, and men were close behind with 85%.

Interestingly, men (63%) and women (51%) also agreed it’s a green flag when someone looks better in person than in their online photos.

Recording your partner for pranks or "relationship tests" for social media.

When "screening" the people we're seeing, Dr. Schiff believes that "both gut instinct and factual information are important."

"Gut instinct is your nervous system's way of flagging something: sometimes it's right, and sometimes it is based on old patterns or trauma. Factual information should be used alongside intuition," the psychologist explains.

"The healthiest approach is to stay curious, definitely trust your gut, but let the facts confirm or challenge it. The key to healthy dating is noticing when something makes you feel anxious, second-guess your needs, or makes you shrink. Real connection should feel grounding, not chaotic."

I might get hate for this but demanding your partners location/and or making it mandatory to share locations. I understand for safety purposes but for me it feels rooted in ownership, insecurity and mistrust.

Public marriage proposals.

Treating jealousy as a love language.

Dudes initiating choking and other violent acts during intimacy without first asking for consent.

Posting publicly your lover's quarrel. Like bruh, you're embarrassing your partner on social media? And posting it next morning like nothing happened??

Having to get permission from your partner before going out or running errands.

Being expected to talk 24/7 and have no life outside of each other.

Using someone else as a comfort while trying to figure out their situation with their ex… just happened to me. Completely messed up. Not ok.

Performing for each other instead of being real. People feel pressure to be endlessly witty, effortlessly cool, or emotionally detached like dating is a game of who can care less first. It’s exhausting and kind of dehumanizing.

Sending unsolicited d**k pics.

The expectation to respond to texts immediately. Like you owe your partner your full time and attention.

(This is obviously not in every relationship, but it’s definitely in some.).

Tracking each other’s every movement.

Being obsessed with social media.

Deceiving someone into thinking you are exclusive to enjoy their focused attention.

For some odd reason it’s become normal and somewhat expected to share your location 100% of the time. It’s almost never for “safety”.

Playing hard to get.

Not going to bed angry - majority of problems within a healthy relationship stems from overstimulation from stress. So staying up trying to figure it out may cause more mental torment versus sleeping (while still holding each other and saying I love you) and waking up feeling refreshed enough to speak .

“The chase”
If you’re having to chase someone, you’re not mutually attracted to each other, you’re being predatory .

Posting everything about your relationship online.

Treating dating as if everybody is auditioning for you instead of considering the fact that dates are equals who are also taking time out of their busy lives to get to know you.

Looking through each others phones.

Having no tolerance for imperfection.

Comparisons.

Stop comparing your couple, your actions, and your involvement to what you see others doing on the Internet.

Making hypocritical demands.

Talking about exes excessively, being hung up on exes, and jumping from person to person instead of committing.

Putting up with your partner calling you insults during disagreements or arguments (stupid, idiot, b***h, etc), or calling your partner hyper casual and dismissive names during fights (i.e. bro).

Love bombing, future faking, and, push and pull behaviors.

Well it's seen as a red flag if you don't live on social media. I have reddit but apps like instagram and snapchat felt pointless.

Takes me out of the running for a fair amount of people.

Sending nudes or risque’ pictures to  strangers. Would you walk up to a stranger on the street and strip down? No? Then why do it to a total stranger online?

Not being “allowed” to have opposite s*x friends. In a healthy, normal adult life, you can have friends of all identities and it shouldn’t be a problem. Getting mad at your partner for having friends is just weird.

Maybe not “normal” but bringing or suggesting to bring another person into the relationship.

Even worse if you have kids. I’ve known 2 couples who have done this. Both couples are divorced now.

Sharing social media passwords. Ew no. Your account is *YOURS* for a reason.

Following the toxic advice of 'in order to get over someone you need to get under someone else'.

Being completely disingenuous from the get go.

The pressure to get married. I can think of many great reasons a couple may wait 10 years to get married, but very few good reasons to have a 2 year dating to married turnaround. .

You might also like: People shared 44 funny signs that are honestly pure comedy

Follow Bored Panda's daily dive into internet culture on MSN for more curious finds, quirky content, and offbeat observations.