#1
#2
I have family that wishes we could go back in time when things were “simpler”.
Like girl. No thanks. I like being able to tell men to stfu, not being a baby making machine, having my own checking account, air conditioning, electricity, driving a car, flying, movies/games, equality (not perfect yet but wayyyy better than those times), and getting an education.
And all the handy appliances/tools? Folks are clueless on how difficult those times were and they were only a little better for the rich/high class.
#3
I’m one, do DNA. It’s not like CSI. It’s a heavy job, you deal with the worst day of everyone’s lives every day. You realize how evil people can be, especially parents. We have vicarious trauma training and mental health is a hot topic.
But it is neat.
The main issue with hype and romanticizing things is that you create a vast gap between how the world actually works and how you expect it to work. The bigger the gap, the larger the shock you experience when you finally realize the difference between your expectations and reality. And we don’t know about you, but for us, this can be quite demotivating and paralyzing. If you’ve been chasing some sort of goal. dream, or career for months and years, only to later realize it is nothing like you imagined, it can lead to an identity crisis. Suddenly, you’re left questioning what else you might have gotten so wrong.
According to Manhattan-based psychodynamic psychiatrist Ahron Friedberg, M.D., it is important not to be overly romantic when choosing or changing your career. Doing purposeful and meaningful tasks is a significant factor in your work, however, at the same time, you need to focus on practical things like financial security, too. Meanwhile, do your due diligence and properly research any profession before committing to it.
#4
#6
Friedberg suggests asking yourself these things before you think about a career change: “What is my ulterior motive? Are my aspirations based in reality? Is my new career supposed to fill gaps in my life that, in the clear light of day, would seem way too cavernous for any career to fill?”
He emphasizes that our judgment gets clouded when we’re feeling particularly desperate or lonely. “We are willing to take risks that we convince ourselves are not risks at all. So, we should ask ourselves: If the purpose of taking this leap fails, will there be enough left in the place where I land to have made the effort worthwhile? If the answer is No, if we invested all our emotional capital in a potential mirage, then it’s probably wise not to take the leap at all.”
#7
#8
In the meantime, in a witty piece for The Guardian, Eva Wiseman notes that the issue with romanticizing your life and elevating small moments is that, despite their initial appeal, you start giving too much weight to truly mundane things.
You are, essentially, turning banal and routine things into something that ‘must’ have a narrative arc and main character energy. In other words, when every moment is special and important, nothing is.
“We first clung on to mundanity, the small delights of day-to-day life, as an escape. But soon, I fear, we started elevating these moments and placing importance on them so they had slightly too much weight to bear, narrating short videos of pasta as if documentary footage. These romanticised scenes became not just banal (if sometimes beautiful) moments in a day, but an entire lifestyle. Teethbrushing as narrative arc. Aspirational water bottle-filling at the sink.”
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Personally, what do you think are the most overhyped and overly romanticized things that people later regret wishing for? Right now, what do you dream of getting or achieving?
What do people romanticize about your profession or lifestyle that doesn’t quite match up to the daily reality? For example, working as a writer certainly matches some of the hyped-up expectations you might have (we survive on endless cups of coffee, do what we love every day, and we’re too smart for our own good) but falls short elsewhere (unfortunately, burnout is far too common, and we didn’t write this on a typewriter with balled-up paper drafts littering the floor).
Grab a drink or a snack and join the conversation in the comments!
#13
It's not music, it's unrelated loud noises that wear on your nerves all day every day.
#14
IT SUCKS. IT SUCKS SO BAD. I'VE BEEN MASKING MY ENTIRE LIFE AND GETTING BY AND NOW BURNOUT OF EVERYTHING HAS HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK. I HATE LOUD NOISES. I HATE LISTENING TO PEOPLE MAKE NOISE. I'M AWKWARD AS HELL. I HATE HOW MY LIFE IS DISORGANIZED ORGANIZED. I HATE THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME THAT COMES WITH IT. MY HYPERFIXATIONS MAKE ME LOSE SLEEP AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. BEING ON THE SPECTRUM IS NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS!!!!!
#15
sala:
I’m convinced that for a lot of businesses that don’t make it, its not because they go brankrupt, its because the owner was not prepared for the level of responsibility, working 70hrs a week and sacrificing almost everything else in their life.
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#18
lunarlandscapes:
I think a lot of people romanticize cities they've never lived in. Its super easy to think about how romantic and beautiful life could be living in Paris, or NYC, or the New Zealand countryside, but then once you move there and the novelty wears off, you realize you still are living the same life, just in a new city. You still have the same problems and issues you've always had. I took a cultural psychology class during my undergrad and we studied this, its super common in immigrants to have a low period a few months after immigrating because of this
#19
Coomstress:
Middle management is tough. Keeping all your direct reports happy while answering to executives who don’t know and don’t care what’s happening on the front lines.
#20
Yeah, my dad was a hippie and my mom loved Wicca. My mom also befriended an arsonist because his “soul was pure” so like….idk.