#1
- Victim in every story. Everyone else was crazy/toxic/jealous
- Mean to waitstaff / nice to you
- Competes with every girl. Other women are always "pick me"
- Never apologizes, only explains.
- Keeps score with kindness. Does favors to use as leverage later
- Needs male validation to function.
#2
Ageism against younger women.
My mother and I saw a young woman one day and had polar opposite reactions simultaneously
I said “omg look how cute she is!”
Mom said “omg her skirt, that’s disgusting”
It gave me flashbacks
As a little kid older women loved me! I loved the women around me. Then puberty hit and suddenly I was “up to something” or “knew what I was doing”
It was like I lost all the women I looked up to, overnight. - and no I didn’t know “what I was doing” tf
Noww I get what it was about.
Now when I see a young woman enjoying herself all adorned and dressed up, male gaze, pick me energy, just a phase
- whatever
I love it! I love that she’s enjoying herself and exploring her s**y side, I love watching women be feminine.
Watching girls finding their style as they grow. I throw out compliment’s compulsively.
Why would I be angry the young woman looks it?
Let them live.
#3
Anyone who uses too much jargon in their speech, too many buzzwords. At best, it signals intellectual conformity/trend-chasing; at worst, they're in a cult or culty ideology.
Let's start with the friend who only appears when something is on fire. Months of silence pass, then suddenly there is a dramatic voice message at midnight asking for advice, a ride to the airport, or a loan of your favorite jacket. Healthy friendships run on give and take, and Psychology Today lists ignored boundaries, backstabbing and mean comments among the clearest signs that a friend is doing more harm than good. If you are the only one keeping the group chat alive, that is not a coincidence. That is a clue.
Then there is the joke that is never really a joke. You know the type. Something cutting slips out, followed by a big grin and a reminder that you really need to learn how to take a joke. Psychologist Marisa Franco, who studies adult friendships, explains that lines like this, along with being told you are too sensitive, often act as a shield against accountability. She shares more phrases worth side eyeing in a column for CNBC, and it makes a great read before your next brunch.
#4
Next up is the friendly rival. Friendship is not supposed to come with a scoreboard. If every promotion, new haircut, or vacation you share gets a flat reaction, a bigger story from them, or a suspiciously similar outfit at the next party, you might be dealing with a competitor in disguise. Therapist Perpetua Neo told Business Insider that this kind of person tends to hold back compliments and may even start copying you. Imitation is supposed to be flattery, but it feels different when it arrives with a side of silence every time you win.
#7
It's one thing if it's a friendly competition or motivation. It's weird to become competitive with someone who has no idea that there is a competition.
#8
Acting like a helpless victim all the time, especially in front of men. This is a manipulation tactic used by many women, regardless of age. They do stuff behind your back but you can never openly blame them or speak to other people about their deeds, because they wouldn't believe you. They have the courage to attack you but don't have the courage to be confronted or exposed. They even make you doubt yourself because they're such a victim and such a nice person. Men don't understand this, because this tactic isn't used by other men as no man would want to seem powerless; they also tend to feel even more protective of a woman like this because it makes them feel like a powerful protector.
#9
Gossip deserves its own spotlight. Everybody vents now and then, but a friend who trades secrets like collectible cards will eventually trade yours too. Here is a simple test. If they happily take apart everyone else when talking to you, imagine what they say when you leave the room. Experts quoted by Women's Health South Africa note that a little complaining is normal, but once your friendship starts sounding like a reality show reunion, it is time to pay attention.
#10
#11
#12
Another giveaway is how you feel afterward. A great friend leaves you feeling lighter, understood, and maybe a bit sore from laughing. A draining one leaves you second guessing yourself and replaying the conversation in the shower. Psych Central points out that feeling worse about yourself after spending time together is a major warning sign, and that patterns of lying are a sure signal the friendship is unhealthy. Your gut is usually the first to notice, even when your brain is busy making excuses.
#13
#14
#15
Of course, nobody is perfect, and a red flag is not the same thing as a bad day. Good people forget birthdays, cancel plans, and say clumsy things when they are stressed. What matters is the pattern, and whether the person cares enough to listen and change when you bring it up. A friend who apologizes and actually improves deserves a second chance. A friend who flips the blame onto you every single time probably does not.
#16
#17
Women who say they are your friend then talk s**t behind your back and want to see you fail.
Women who openly admit to talking to guys in relationships or are married. If you know this woman RUN. She will try to destroy your relationship for her own happiness bc her life is a mess and she’s jealous.
Women who are mothers and neglect their kids.
Women who love drama. Have fights everyday and insert themselves into situations for the thrill of fighting with someone. Instigate fights between others they are jealous of or want to see fail.
Women who only know how to talk s**t about other ppl. They are talking s**t about you.
Women who bully other women bc again of jealousy or wanting to see them fail.
Women who are immediately touchy and calling you their best friend when you meet them. Compliment everything about you and wants to know everything about you. RUN.
#18
Also, toxic jealousy or unreasonable boundaries. Having trust issues is understandable with the way some men might behave but it’s never a healthy behaviour to indulge in and make a huge part of your personality. Go to therapy before you meet the love of your life and ruin it all because you can’t stand that he has female friends or talks to his ex once a year.
#19
I am a girl fyi.
#20
