#1

They were pretty hands-off at first, but the Americanisms and corporate b******t are slowly creeping in.
A while ago we made a group of people redundant. Our president stood up for us and said that he didn’t agree with such a shortsighted decision made simply to appease the shareholders in the short term. Our CEO fired him.
This was the same year that they completely removed our bonus scheme and froze any pay rises.
The company then paid an external consultant thousands to fly to the UK and give us a talk about resilience during tough times.
In the next town hall meeting all of the SLT were patting themselves on the back for a job well done and our CEO kept making lots of analogies that allowed him to talk about his yacht.
The whole bunch of them are in a completely different reality to the rest of us, and if they start with that chanting nonsense I’m torching the building.
#2

He spent the first hour talking about how in the first few weeks the weather conditions meant he couldn't paraglide.
Then he talk some more about paragliding stuff for 2 hours. No idea what as I'd switched off.
Turned out he was the brother of one of the higher-ups who wanted to be a motivational speaker.
He motivated a lot of us to fall asleep. He was only timetabled for an hour slot.
#3

I still see ex-colleagues posting on LinkedIn about their strategy away days. Always something about continuous improvement, putting the customer at the heart of everything we do, improving right-first-time, supporting your colleagues, executing with pace, improving knowledge-sharing and teamwork etc etc.
In other words, the same conversations and issues have been doing the rounds for at least a quarter of a century now.
As for bollocks corporate away day nonsense, we had a full day meeting facilitated by an external speaker. We had to bang different coloured sticks that played a different note so we “make our own individual sound yet, collectively, we’re part of a symphony.”
A colleague a few tables over refused to participate and left at the lunchtime break to “go get some real work done.” My hero.
Corporate nonsense often sticks around because it does more than communicate, it helps shape workplace culture. Leadership and teamwork expert David Burkus explains that office jargon, rituals, and even certain management habits can signal who belongs and who understands the unwritten rules of an organization.
Whether it's using trendy buzzwords, introducing flashy initiatives, or following performative workplace customs, these behaviors can make employees appear aligned with company culture, even when they do little to improve how work actually gets done. Over time, repeating these habits becomes a way of signaling professionalism, regardless of whether they add real value.
#4

Growth Mindset is rolled out in loads of places, the idea being that you have to be in some degree of discomfort to work at your best. It actively dissuades you from being comfortable in the workplace.
Had a motivational business speaker type come into the large high school I worked in and explain that, because amazon is one of the wealthiest and most successful companies in the world, that all businesses and organisations should be trying to copy their success. We were a school. The management were drooling over all this; the staff were mostly perplexed.
A business is like a cruise ship... A business is like a village... A business is like a football team... A business is like a beehive...
I work for a large corporation and every year they host a big conference to bring all the different parts of the company together. They constantly say: there is no hierarchy in this company! I hopefully don't need to explain why and how that is complete and utter bollocks. It is hardly an anarchist collective: it's a highly stratified pyramid where the CEOs make 30x more than the average employee.
Had a new incoming headteacher say in an address to the school: You're either on my bus or getting run over by it. .
#5

“Are those people paying their mortgage with job satisfaction?” - my colleague Pete.
#6

Sent four weeks after some of the people had already left, and everyone knew exactly why.
Same corpo-speak copied and pasted into every comms, including my own redundancy warning, which I’m fighting because it’s a sham. And by “fighting”, I mean trying to squeeze more money out of them before running from this sinking ship.
Many of these behaviors also serve psychological purposes beyond productivity. As Fortune points out, corporate language and workplace practices can help people project competence, soften difficult conversations, or avoid taking clear responsibility. That helps explain why some companies prefer vague announcements, motivational slogans, or lengthy strategic meetings instead of straightforward communication.
Likewise, some managers lean on symbolic gestures, such as announcing "exciting new initiatives" that change very little or introducing unnecessary procedures, to create the impression that meaningful action is being taken without committing to concrete results.
#7

#8

“What does that mean” I asked him.
“You know, sell the sizzle, not the sausage”
“Yeah but what does you mean by that?”
He didn’t know.
#9

From 9am to 12pm the guy they got in presenting literally had everyone draw a picture on a post it note, then put it on a board
Then he'd pick one and ask the person who did it to explain it
Cue 3 hours of the people in our organisation everybody avoids talking utter bollocks, he didn't even stop any, some went on for 20 mins
I told our chief I was off at dinner as I had a much more enjoyable filling at the dentist to go to
Found out in the afternoon, he did exactly the same again
In time loss terms there was about 20k in wages just for that day in the room.
It's no surprise, then, that meetings are one of the biggest sources of frustration for employees. According to Deskpass, meetings become ineffective when they're treated as performances of coordination rather than opportunities to make decisions. Without a clear agenda, conversations often drift into abstract discussions, repetitive updates, and carefully worded statements designed to avoid conflict or criticism.
Instead of solving problems, employees may spend more time contributing to the conversation than actually moving projects forward. That tendency doesn't just produce endless corporate buzzwords, it also encourages unnecessary check-ins, performative collaboration, status updates that could have been emails, and workplace routines that consume valuable time while accomplishing very little.
#10

#11

I am part of the termination email chains and I had to muster all my strength not to start hysterically laughing.
#12

I turned my volume down to just about audible and booted up a video game on my TV because listening to that drivel for any longer would have made me physically sick.
Of course, not every company policy or piece of business terminology deserves criticism. NeuroLeadership notes that effective workplace communication is clear, specific, and helps people make better decisions faster. Likewise, useful processes, meetings, and technical language exist because they solve real problems and keep teams aligned.
The issue arises when organizations replace practical solutions with empty gestures, overly complicated procedures, or language that sounds impressive without offering clarity. Employees tend to recognize the difference quickly, which is why so many examples of corporate nonsense resonate with anyone who's spent time in an office.
#13

The ceo walked up after and basically said... ignore that.
#14

#15

"Some colleagues may be re-vectored"
F**k off with that sh**e.
Not every workplace tradition or company policy is inherently bad. Clear communication, effective leadership, and well-designed processes can make employees feel supported and help teams work more efficiently. The problem begins when appearances take priority over results, whether that's through endless meetings, unnecessary rules, or corporate initiatives that generate more frustration than progress.
The stories above are a reminder that employees tend to notice the difference between practices that genuinely improve the workplace and those that simply create extra work or sound good on paper. Which example felt the most familiar to you? Or have you experienced an even bigger piece of corporate nonsense at work? Share your story in the comments, we'd love to hear it!
#17

As you can tell, this was America. I was in a sales job. One month I didn’t meet my sales quota, and in true American corporate style, this was brought up at the sales meeting in front of everyone. My response was I was too busy at church, taking care of my family and spending time at the gym. It wasn’t appreciated. They also knew I was an atheist.
#18

#19

Hidden away on the intranet someone managed to find the *company* rap song. Not even kidding. One of the trainers had recorded a full 3 minute rap song about the company and its core values, and had uploaded it there. I’m not sure if it was ever officially used, but it exists and it was the worst thing to happen to rap probably ever. Probably the second worst thing that happened to that particular company I reckon.




