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DARK SECRETS: 4 | Vintage Vibes

Back from California and Rish! is already drained. Bring on the election

Tired of looking happy and as if he actually cares, the prime minister is ready to be a free man once more

The Guardian - UK

Pyromaniac Rish! torches climate policy while Europe burns

PM sees short-term advantage in smothering green policies while studiously ignoring signs of climate collapse

The Guardian - UK

Happy holidays, but the Tories know they could soon be on permanent vacation

Today started well. It was countdown to recess, a Barbie and Ken homage and Rish! even showed up … but it didn’t last

The Guardian - UK

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It’s Dr Sunak and Mr Hyde: the existence of two Rish!s would explain a lot

Here we had one of the Sunaks announcing the very opposite on pay of what had been said previously

The Guardian - UK

Apologies unforthcoming as privileges committee special report is debated

Rishi was missing in action. It was left to Penny Mordaunt to open proceedings, while Rees-Mogg ploughed on

The Guardian - UK

Moving on slowly … Starmer resumes speech after students’ polite protest

For what felt like an age, they just stood there. In the end, the interlopers seemed grateful to be shepherded away

The Guardian - UK

Absentee prime minister routinely skips parliamentary scrutiny

Rishi Sunak now has the worst attendance record of any British leader at PMQs with a list of feeble excuses

The Guardian - UK

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Rish! finds the liaison committee forgiving under Bernard’s watch

Committee chair Bernard Jenkin ensures attempts to grill the prime minister never get very far

The Guardian - UK

After 13 years in power, who exactly do Tory MPs think ‘the establishment’ is?

Levels of denial were terrifying at New Conservatives’ first event, which just highlighted more divisions within party

The Guardian - UK

Rish! drowns in despair as water minister finds herself way out her depth

Sunak appears to have accepted defeat but Rebecca Pow appears incapable of recognising reality

The Guardian - UK

Has Rishi Sunak been taking honesty lessons from Boris Johnson?

The speaker had to step in after the PM’s claims about the economy stretched the credulity of at least one member at PMQ

The Guardian - UK

Emmerdale spoilers as Jai discovers heartbreaking secret about Rishi and affair is exposed to one villager

Viewers will be left wondering if Jai can forgive his dad

Manchester Evening News

Timid Rish! goes missing in action in face of Boris Johnson’s lies

Prime minister fails to show up at House of Commons debate and vote on privileges committee report

The Guardian - UK

Gloves are finally off as Sunak takes swing at Johnson over honours list

PM comes out fighting after claiming predecessor ‘asked me to do something I wasn’t prepared to do’

The Guardian - UK

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The Guardian - UK

Rish! demonstrates the incapabilities of artificial stupidity during US jolly

Despite big talk on AI, trade and Ukraine, it’s obvious to all PM’s visit is a waste of his and Joe’s time

The Guardian - UK

Rish! as prime minister makes 2017’s Maybot sound like advanced AI

We were promised the tech bro who could feel our pain, but Rishi Sunak merely inflicts it

The Guardian - UK

This Morning’s stand-ins make mincemeat of Rish!’s record

The prime minister thought the ITV sofa was a good place to be on another day of missed targets. He was wrong

The Guardian - UK

Boris Johnson’s blue-on-blue warfare overshadows the usual Rish! routine

Sunak and Starmer seem trapped in an endless loop at PMQs. The real action was elsewhere

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The Guardian - UK

How long can Sunak swerve the obvious on Braverman’s speeding?

The home secretary clearly broke the ministerial code. But there she still is, refusing to engage with reality

The Guardian - UK

Dowden is perfect fit as Sunak’s dependably mediocre deputy

Olive’s one purpose is to make his boss look good – just what a PM heading for opposition needs

The Guardian - UK

Rishi Sunak sends MPs away with a flurry of fibs at PMQs

MPs vanish as Rish! turns PMQs into excruciating session of prime minister’s evasions

The Guardian - UK

Psycho goes down raging: the liberal wokerati finally get to Raab

The deputy PM was oiled and ready to take the initiative. He’d make sure to depart as gracelessly as possible

The Guardian - UK

How could so many civil servants get Rish!’s dear friend Psycho so wrong?

The PM knew Raab was a harmless pussycat – such a shame everyone he had ever worked with thought the opposite

The Guardian - UK

Rishi the Menace lets fly at Sir Softy at a PMQs that plumbs the depths

The PM looks delighted with himself but if this is democracy in action, then maybe we need a rethink

The Guardian - UK

That most pressing of UK’s problems for Sunak to solve … maths

PM’s sums do not seem to add up with his latest passion to deal with the nation’s chronic innumeracy

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