Been together for 10 years. He’s gotten way more disrespectful and rude since we had our son.

Anyways. We’ve fallen into the dynamic where I have to orchestrate almost everything in terms of house chores, toddler care, etc. so I am seen as “the nag,” because most of the time he is unreliable at looking around and being proactive about things.

Whenever he is slightly annoyed with me (which is about 95% of the time - he is majorly irritable literally all the time these days) he straight up ignores me. Won’t reply at all. Doesn’t say a word.

“Can you please refill xyz when you’ve use it all up?”

Radio silence.

“Can you please change him into his jammies?” Etc etc

Radio silence.

I eventually say “did you hear what I said?” And he snaps “YES I friggin’ heard you!” and I say “well, you didn’t reply at all, so I was just verifying you heard me.”

He does this in front of our child all the time. He is almost 2.

Tonight I said straight up (after dozens and dozens of other times over the years) “if I speak directly to you, I need a reply. You are teaching our son how to treat everyone else around him, and I won’t tolerate that at all. Be respectful, reply to me when I speak directly to you”

And he said “oH mY gOd WhAt WoUlD pEoPlE tHiNk iF I HaD aN aUdIo CLIp Of YoU rIgHt NoW!”

And when I pointed out that what he’s doing is not normal or respectful or okay, he told me “what about what you just did!? You’re such a gaslighter!” WHAT I JUST DID was ask him to finish what needed doing in the kitchen before he went to bed, because I was just about to go to put our toddler to bed.

What should I even do here? I feel so unbelievably disrespected and the fact that he does it in front of our child is not okay with me.

We do not have money for therapy.

TLDR: partner completely ignores me when I speak directly to him in front of my child. What should I do?

On Monday, my husband and I got into a big argument over cleaning supplies I asked him to help pay for because I was short on money that week. He said they were unnecessary, and the argument escalated. During the fight he called me ungrateful and said I’m a bad wife. I then said he was greedy and selfish. He got so mad that he ripped up plants I had planted that morning and later tore apart the flowers he bought me for Mother’s Day and threw them in the trash. I was shocked and upset, especially while caring for our 4-month-old baby who started crying during everything.

I felt unsafe and emotionally overwhelmed, so I packed a bag and went to my mom’s house with the baby. He watched us leave without saying anything or trying to stop us. It’s been a couple of days, and he still hasn’t checked on us, apologized, or tried to talk about what happened. I feel strongly that I need communication and accountability from him before going back because I’m always the one who breaks the silence and tries to fix things. Am I irrational for wanting an apology before returning home? How can he not even check up on his baby?

Update: I came home to grab more clothes, he didn’t say a word until the baby started crying he said “let me hold her” I said no. He got mad and said that he sees where this marriage stands, he said I’m the abuser and that I’m using the baby to manipulate him. He said I abandoned him. He took no accountability and remorse and said he ripped my plants because I disrespected him.

I (33f) was in the hospital for three days. I had surgery for a dental abscess and some extractions. I had been dealing with significant tooth pain for about a week prior so I hadn’t been on top of cleaning the house. It was messy when we went to the ER and I didn’t expect to be admitted but what I came home to was startling.

The house was not cleaned a lick while I was gone. Not a dish was washed or a surface cleaned. Almost all of our dishes were dirty, both sinks and the counter full of dirty dishes. Nothing was put away, it sat in the spot it was left in. Crumbs and food on the couch. It was a pigsty and that feels like an understatement. It was disgusting.

My boyfriend (34m) says he shut down from the stress and worry and I want to be understanding but gosh I feel so hurt.

Last night he promised to make it up to me and help me get the house cleaned up. I wasn’t feeling well, took some medicine and went to bed. I even texted him to remind him that he promised to clean up. This was at 7:30.

He didn’t clean a thing. He [messed] around watching something on his phone for a while he went to sleep on the couch.

We’ve been together five years and this is sadly a pattern for him I think. Similar things happened when i had health issues in the past. even if I just go out of town for a few days, he just does….nothing.

He always promises to get better but this obviously is going to continue to be a pattern.

How do I make him understand?

I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know what to do or say. My birthday is tomorrow, and I just want my home to feel like home.

tldr; had dental surgery and my boyfriend let the house turn into a trash heap, now I'm stuck cleaning it all up.

Looking to rant and for any advice on next steps.

Me and my husband have been splitting the nights. He takes the baby from 8pm-12am and then I have him from then on. He has fallen asleep multiple times during his shifts where I then have to take over when I hear the baby screaming. He will not wake up for the baby crying at all so he tries to stay awake for his whole shift.

Then last night, my husband left a pizza in the oven for over 2 hours while he fell asleep, during his shift. The baby was in the bassinet in the kitchen screaming when I woke up. The kitchen was filled with smoke and my husband was soundly asleep on the living room couch. Upon waking him up, he didn’t even realize what was wrong and insisted it wasn’t a big deal. I was so upset and angry. The baby was breathing in smoke for at least an hour and the oven was close to catching on fire.

The baby is fine after monitoring and my husband says he understands the severity of what happened now. He has apologized and assured me it won’t happen again. I still feel very upset and I definitely don’t trust him.

Has anything similar happened to you? I’m not sure what to do next…

Hi, I (29f) have been with my bf for 9 months. I have 3 daughters from my previous marriage and he has no kids.

Bf (26m) was telling me that his step dad was going to pass away soon and he asked that my bf help his mom take care of his 3 little siblings (all under 10). He was freaking out because he has never been a dad before so I offered to help him but he replies "you will never meet my mom". I was confused and shocked. I asked why and he said, "well its because of how you and your ex raised your kids". I ask for him to elaborate and this is what he says, "Because you are raising your kids in a mixed family and there is research showing that mixing kids causes a 30% chance of birth defects. Plus you're erasing your culture while mixing 2 cultures together like a melting pot". My ex husband is Native American/ Mexican. I am German and I think Polish but was adopted/raised by my family (Mexican/Spanish) since I was 2 months old.

We get into a HUGE scientific argument. I end the discussion by saying he is believing Pseudoscience and I wasn't going to discuss this further. Then I ended the relationship. I said I can't be with someone like that. He says he loves my kids and doesn't blame me because I brain washed into thinking race mixing is ok. Our friends are calling me crazy for leaving him and saying he can do better because I am being childish. Am I childish or is he being racist???

(Small update) Due to people saying I should drop my friends too, I slid into our discord VC and talked to 2 of them who were up. I asked why they thought I was childish and there reasoning is because "if you get with someone, youre supposed to make them better, so if you have an issue with his beliefs because they are 'immoral" you need to help him change for the better". I left the discord after that chat.

(Update) I blocked him everywhere and I woke up to people on Facebook telling me an account (him) is sending messages to call CPS on me because I'm [mistreating] the kids and I'm letting my ex (their dad) SA them.

I (25F) been dating my boyfriend (28M) for around 1 year and 4 months. We dont officially live together but honestly he is in my apartment almost every single day now. He sleeps here maybe 5-6 nights every week, showers here, eats here, bring his gaming setup here sometimes, even his work clothes are in my closet now.

At first I didnt care because I love him and wanted him around. But lately it's starting make me feel stressed because my bills got much higher. Electric, water, food everything. I live alone and my apartment is small so I notice it alot.

The problem is whenever I try talk about money he gets weird and defensive.

Last week I asked if maybe he can help a little with rent or bills since he stays here more then his own place now. I tried say it very calmly. He got quiet first then started saying relationships should not feel “transactional” and if he starts paying then its “not romantic anymore.”

What confused me is he actually makes more money than me. Not crazy rich but still more stable. He buys expensive shoes and spends money on games and eating outside with friends, so its not like he is struggling.

Then yesterday something happened that made me more upset.

I came home from work and saw he invited 3 friends over to my apartment without asking me first. They were drinking beer, using my TV and ordered food with my account because he “forgot his wallet.” I got angry and after his friends left we argued badly.

He told me I’m acting like landlord instead of girlfriend.

I asked him then why does he act like my apartment is free hotel.

Now he barely talking to me and saying I embarrassed him.

My older sister (31F) says I already let this go too far and now he feels entitled to my place. But one of my friends (24M) says maybe he just got comfortable and I should have made clearer boundaries earlier.

How do people usually handle this when one partner slowly starts living at the others apartment? Is asking for rent/bills normal in this situation and how do I bring it up without making relationship feel like business deal?