If I know anything about PC gaming, I know this: given an ounce of freedom, PC gamers will build a giant penis that spews fire. I'm frankly not even sure what else you'd build in Besiege, the most innately PC of freeform building games. A catapult or something? Boring. There's no better evidence that The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is a sandbox PC game at heart than how quickly they crested the penis horizon.
With that milestone met, the natural question is: what next? In a typical Zelda game, the answer would be to head to the next dungeon. But in this one, Nintendo has introduced an absurdly flexible building system that lets you connect all sorts of parts together and then power them, creating sturdier weapons, traps for hapless bokoblins, or even freaking mechs. Faced with unprecedented freedom and player choice, the pure, innocent Nintendo gamers playing Zelda this weekend seem to have channeled their inner PC gremlin in a certain direction: abject torture.
