The first touch is a little heavy. Still, he retains possession and drives into the right channel with a billowing burst of pace. Gets tackled by Nathan Aké. Writhes around theatrically on the turf for a while, grimacing and holding his ankle. Has a little argument with the referee. Chases down a long ball as the next phase of play resets. Almost collides head-on with a teammate. Diverts his run into the penalty area. Scores an awkward header from four yards. Tears towards the corner in celebration. Rips off his shirt. Gets booked.
Darwin Núñez’s first taste of English football came against Manchester City in the 2022 Community Shield. In retrospect this late passage of play – one minute of pure, liquid Darwin – was the moment the template was set. The hurricane. The cult hero. The agent of chaos. Andy Carroll with a slightly bigger price tag and a similar command of English. From the moment Núñez arrived on these shores, accompanied by a slew of unflattering social media clips and lazy comparisons with Erling Haaland, he would discover that his role as a kind of pantomime cow had largely been pre-assigned to him.
