Neymar to Chelsea, eh? What a coup that would be for the Premier League! There’s more chance of Boris Johnson remembering his mobile-phone passcode before sundown, alas, but it’s our job to report every bit of BIG gossip, however improbable/unashamedly made up to lure a septillion suckers with a delicious bit of clicky bait.
In an unrelated development, there are sensational rumours that Kylian Mbappé will quit football to become a subeditor on the Guardian sports desk. Mbappé, 24, said he was keen on a new chall … oh never mind.
