We have always known that death is a part of life because it is death that gives meaning to existence, reminding us how precious life is. Though rationally one understands death as a reminder of our mortality, our emotions swell as we face the terrible burden of loss that comes with the passing of life.
The word “grief” comes from the old French word grever meaning burden or oppression. The conventional way of working through grief is to pass through stages of denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Depression lasts longest and comes before acceptance. A 100 years ago, Freud proposed that “mourning comes to a decisive end when the bereaved severs its emotional attachment to the one lost and reinvest energy in a new object”. Grief is the internal experience of loss, while mourning is the external expression of grief.
The fabled story of Kafka and the travelling doll is said to have originated when a year before his death, the writer encountered a heartbroken little girl as he walked through Stieglitz Park, Berlin. The little girl was inconsolable because she had lost her doll. Having helped look for the lost doll, Kafka declared that she should not worry because her doll had gone on a trip and he being a postman, had a letter from the doll which he would bring the next day. Kafka met the child the following day at the same spot and read out a letter that he had composed in which the doll asked, “Please don’t mourn me; I have gone on a trip to see the world. I will write to you of my adventures.” That was the start of many carefully composed letters about imagined adventures of the beloved doll that Kafka handed to the girl each day over three weeks. When these meetings came to an end, Kafka presented the child a doll which obviously looked different from the original but came attached with a note, “My travels have changed me … everything you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form.”
