"Elon Musk is buying Twitter! Oh no!" the united front of the Moral Army virtually screamed in all-caps. "I'm leaving!"
Before we start, I should probably define the Moral Army: people who spend more time interacting online than in real life, and who are always — always — on the right side of history. They are so woke and so perfect they've never said anything racist, homophobic, sexist, classist, ageist, or anything with an -ist in the back. They are so good they knew your pronouns before pronouns were a part of the conversation. They are beyond perfect, and if you are not, they advocate for your reputational destruction, your online death. No, you can't learn; no, you can't apologize; no, you can't evolve. The Moral Army doesn't forgive.
