For those starving for intrigue this offseason, we present to you the absolute best-case scenario coming to fruition during Sunday’s early games.
The Bears have secured the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft, thanks to a Texans win over the hapless Colts and a Bears loss to the Vikings on Sunday. The most valuable commodity in any draft, and especially this draft, is a quarterback. In this case, Alabama’s Bryce Young. The Bears already have a quarterback. Unless they don’t. As the current draft order stands, at least six teams in the top 10 need quarterbacks.
While Occam’s razor tells us that the simplest solution is almost always the correct one, Fr. William of Ockham was never around to see an NFL season. Here, in this league, owners hire their best friends from television during the middle of the season and fire capable coaches. People punt for no damn reason, down 31 points in the fourth quarter of a lost year with no playoff prospects. The NFL makes such little sense that only the people who understand it, cover it and depend on it for their livelihood can soberly pass off its machinations as anything resembling normal.
