I am staring at the wall. I hold in my hand a drill, a screw and a wall plug. My son has brought his own toy tool set with him, too, and has been sawing the bed, the floor and my legs to help. If he were really trying to ape my technique he would have brought a toy phone, for I have prepared for this task by watching YouTube. Specifically, videos designed for people who, like me, have spent their lives avoiding basic DIY as if it were illegal.
These YouTubers are real men. Manly men. Men who, thankfully, speak to me about basic DIY in that affectionate tone you might use if you found an unaccompanied child weeping in a shopping centre. ‘Let’s get this wall drilled, shall we?’ they chuckle, as I dab my face with a rapidly dampening sleeve, ‘Come on now, no tears, we’ll get this all sorted out together!’.
