The Hollywood couple Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher might have set a new trend when they recently admitted they never bathe their children, but when I ran out of sensitive kids’ bath soap for Lola and Liberty on holiday in Portugal, I was floored. I’m more Dwayne Johnson – who showers three times a day – with them. I couldn’t use the hotel’s miniature perfumed body wash, which smells like an out-of-date splash-on Brut men’s aftershave. What could I do?
I’m stuck in some sprawling resort with a fancy spa selling Clarins but nothing suitable for kids. Can I venture out of the hotel? No. It’s too big, and I feel institutionalised after a few days – like I’m back in rehab. As we get shuttled on a golf buggy back from a seafood restaurant where my dad looks orange from devouring jumbo prawns, I notice bus stops to get around it. Am I on the Star Wars Enterprise? I might have to take a leaf out of the A-lister’s book after all.
