THE DEADLINE LOOMS FOR US ALL
There are few phrases guaranteed to send shivers down the spine of even the most grizzled football veteran. But “From the England camp” is among them, generations of children traumatised into adulthood by the residual boredom of tournament reports advising us that Gary Stevens and Gary Stevens have the same name, to say nothing of Trevor Steven; that Dave Beasant has played snooker with Neil Webb; that the manager is “keeping his cards close to his chest”. For some, the simple utterance of “Gelsenkirchen” or “Baden-Baden” bring with them an ayahuascan aspect, and with Friday’s squad-naming deadline swiftly followed by Monday’s flight to Germany, the moment of regression is almost upon us. Before we even know it, Gabriel Clarke and co will be intoning whichever overwhelming seriousness and hilarious ephemera has “captured the public imagination” – an expression that does not, for the avoidance of doubt, describe the imprisonment in the Tower of groupthink nationalism, with grizzly torture thrown in to make sure.
