Imagine trying to explain a fart joke to an alien. Why is it funny when a human expels air from their anus, especially when the buildup of said gas in the abdominal region can cause intense pain and discomfort? Alpha Gang is trying to figure this out. The latest feature from prankster brothers David and Nathan Zellner is about a group of aliens sent from goodness-knows-where to a war-torn pocket of what appears to be Communist Eastern Europe. Their mission is to conquer our planet, but the plan for how they’re going to do that is...less than clear. So, as the humans destroy themselves all around them, these visitors spend a lot of time contemplating the enigmas like the gastrointestinal mystery mentioned above.
The film thinks that this is all very funny, and stretches out its already-thin plot with dry comedic sequences where the members of the Alpha Gang muse on such questions as, “why do humans have names and not numbers?,” and “why are the lyrics to so many human songs about love?” Love, and emotions in general, are especially baffling to team leader Alpha One (Léa Seydoux), who calls feelings “the disease” and doesn’t understand why an organism would put its own survival at risk for such a fleeting sensation. The others, especially certified horndog Alpha Five (Doona Bae) and lonely heart Alpha Three (Kelvin Harrison, Jr), are more curious. And even Alpha One can’t deny her strange attachment to Alpha Two (Dave Bautista), with whom she shared a slow dance before the others showed up (beamed down, whatever).
