In 2014, my friends had a beautiful baby, Reuben. People would say “he is such a BOY” when they saw how confident and cheeky he was. But from the moment Reuben could express himself, he showed us all he wasn’t a boy at all. Even before he could speak, he gravitated to pinks, purples, sparkles, tutus. By age two, he was telling his parents, “I’m a girl.” In every book, role play and story, he identified with the feminine characters. Every animal, toy and fancy dress character was a “she”.
At four, Reuben became increasingly distressed about being called a boy. Her dad remembers: “He drew full-body self-portraits, making a point of adding female anatomy and grew unhappy with his body. Following his lead, we tried using the pronouns ‘she/her’ at first as a game, just for a day, or a weekend. She never wanted to go back. Her distress eased dramatically.”
