Upon establishing the Constitution of the United States, Benjamin Franklin said that, though he had hopes for the document’s longevity, the only things that would be certain moving forward were death and taxes. He was correct for a couple of centuries, at least until Kristi Noem and “The Real Housewives” came along. Now, there are four irrefutable guarantees in this modern life: death, taxes, Trumpian chaos and at least one “Real Housewives” franchise airing on television at all times.
But updating that dusty, old document shouldn’t be too much of a stretch, given that rewriting the Constitution is already a favored tactic among the Trump administration. Although, what foundational systems of America don’t feel like they’re being besieged lately? Longstanding policies, laws and modes of operation have been replaced by an onslaught of executive orders, mass government layoffs and allowing Elon Musk an unprecedented amount of influence. In simpler terms: The American government is under attack, and nobody knows what it’s like to be attacked more than a Real Housewife, whose first-season handbook includes an entire chapter on weaponizing that word.
