Have you heard the tale of — come closer, we can’t speak too loudly — the . . . Whisper Man? If the beast’s name alone didn’t send shivers down your spine, just wait: He’s like those other cockamamy-named figures like the Bye Bye Man, and the Tall Man, and the Empty Man, only so much worse. The Whisper Man lures you into a false sense of security by showing you visions of things you like, even love, on your television screen before tainting them into nightmares, pulling the rug out from under you, blurring your sense of reality entirely. Just when he’s got you disoriented and distracted, he strikes, boring you to death.
How can you avoid such a horrible fate, you ask? Well, the only surefire way to protect yourself from the Whisper Man and all of his murderous monotony is to listen for the sound of his presence. Luckily, it’s a noise so foul and utterly dread-inducing that it’s unmistakable: TU-DUM!
