I love my wife and daughter more than anything. But hard living, along with being the only person in my original friend group to wait until I was AARP-mail-years-old to start a family, has kicked my ass clear across the whole of 2022. So I consider it my responsibility to help my fellow old dads out by sharing what I've learned this year. If you're a geriatric father of a little kid — I have a two-year-old — I'm going to share with you the secret to providing fun and excitement over the holiday break for your little one without destroying your already crumbling knees.
Maybe your knees are great. Maybe they aren't crumbling at all. Maybe it's your back. Maybe the heels of your feet burn inside your oversized HOKAs from sciatica. Or maybe you are one of the lucky people in perfect health who jogs, only drinks one glass of white wine per week, and has cut out red meat. Honestly, your health condition doesn't matter, because if you want to maintain the condition you are in, or even get better, then pay close attention to my first recommendation: Avoid major theme parks at all costs, especially during a major holiday season. I made that mistake over summer vacation, and for this geriatric father, it was insufferable.
