A soldier's pocket bible, from 1861. Mint condition, gold-leafed.. with an inscription from his sister......

A cat..the house we purchased had a closet under the basement staircase. During the final walk through I felt the compulsion to open the door out of curiosity. Seeing that it was a closet with no light I decided to shine a light to see how far back it went, in most narrow part I saw two glowing eyes and was able to make out the outline of a cat. When we called the owners thinking they’d be so relieved, they had acted surprised saying “we searched all over for him, and had just figured we ran away during the move”. As we proceeded with the closing procedures, they continuously offered for us to take the cat saying their apartment wouldn’t allow pets and they had no where to take him. It got to the point where our realtor had to tell them to stop. I like to imagine it’s all happen stance and they didn’t just decide to lock the poor cat up in a closet for us to find.

The worst part is, we didn’t move into the house until a few days later. If I hadn’t randomly decided to shine my flashlight inside the closet, that poor cat would have suffered.

Moved into an old house in Berkshire, UK, and found a bible from the 1700s in the attic. In the back was handwritten the history of the early owners. The Church in the village was 12th century and had all the records so so we tracked down the modern descendants and gave them the bible.

The previous owner's wife had passed away not long before we purchased the house. About a week after we took possession, the realtor called us and asked if we'd found the owner's wife's wedding ring in the master bedroom closet. We had not. A few years later, we were cleaning on top of the kitchen cabinets and found the ring. Why it was on top of the kitchen cabinets we will never know. We were able to track down the owner and return it, however.

A man went to see his Rabbi. He stated in a very serious tone, "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked, "How can that be?"

The man then pleaded, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then said, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi called the man and said, "Well, I met with your wife. We talked for three hours."

The man anxiously replied, "Yes."

"You want my advice?"

Again, the man anxiously replied, "Yes."

"Take the poison," said the Rabbi.

A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.

A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.

An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’

The doc gives her some pills and tells her to come back next week.

The next week the old lady comes back and says ‘doc, I took the pills, the farts are still silent but now they stink!’

The doc says ‘great! We’ve cleared your sinuses, now let’s work on your hearing!’

A guy starts calling his wife “mother of six” instead of by her first name.

At first the wife is amused, but after a few years of being called the name, she’s pretty sick of it.

One night, the guy and his wife are at a club. The guy yells to his wife, “Let’s hit the road, mother of six!”

His wife shouts back at him, “Be right there, father of four!”

A little girl asks her father, "Daddy, why don't I have a little sister?"

Trying to be funny, her father says, "You do have a little sister."

"I do?" asks the little girl.

"Sure you do," her father says. "But, every time you walk in the front door, she is walking out the back door."

"Oh, I see!" says the little girl. "You mean she's just like my other daddy."

A wife desperately tries to prove to her husband her illicit affair is over. He'd already forgiven her, but still hadn’t spoken to her in days. The only thing she could think of, is that he must still not trust her...

In a last ditch attempt to convince him, she cut her ex-lover’s obituary out of the newspaper. Her affair ended long before the accident, but she thought this would ease her husband’s mind once and for all.

“You see.” she told him. “He was struck by a drunk driver.”

Her husband smiled and replied, “I wasn’t drunk.”