A lady told me I was pretty and I said thanks and when I laughed I farted.

sSome one called the library I worked at to ask if they could just show up to a program or if they had to register and my immediate thought was "you can just show up" but I wanted to confirm and instead of saying "can you please hold?" I said "can you please shut up?" in the most customer service voice.

In high school I was hanging out with a group of girls and a buddy. Out of nowhere a fart slipped out. They all looked at me and I said "Nah just kidding" lol. 25 years later when I see that buddy, first thing he says is "nah just kidding" lol scared!

I went into the gas station to pay and the lady said
"hi" and I said "good" MY BRAIN WAS ALREADY READY FOR THE "how are you" I PRE FIRED THE ANSWER.

I’m the guy that asked the Olive Garden waitress what a Super Salad was after she asked if I want soup or salad.

I was on a bus trip once and someone came around with a garbage bag and said "garbage?". I said "oh, no thank you" like they were offering me garbage instead of asking if I had anything to throw away.

One time I drove myself to the store …myself. When I got finished shopping I went to my car at sat in the passenger seat for several minutes until i realized what I’d done. There was a guy waiting in his car and I waited until he drove off to get out bc I was so embarrassed.

I went to Sam's club last week. It was a feels like temp of 108 and my husband dropped me out front then went to park. I saw 2 benches in the shade. A employee was on one. I walked up and asked if I could sit on the other. She smiled and said of course. She then asked me a few questions I thought were odd but I politely answered her. After the THIRD question I answered she said, hang on someone keeps answering me (as she got up to walk away) and then I realized she was on the PHONE AND NONE OF THE QUESTIONS WERE TO ME.

One time I was holding the door open and this guy went to take it from me and I thought he was reaching for a hug. So casually I hugged him.

One time I walked out of an elevator and said thank you to the people that stayed inside it… like it was theirs and they dropped me off.