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Boys don’t cry, only girls wear pink, and a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Throughout the years, we’ve been stuffed into boxes and told what is and isn’t ‘normal’ based on our gender. Thankfully, times have changed and many of these beliefs are considered outdated.
Yet, some people still have surprisingly strong and very strange opinions about what is or isn’t ‘appropriate’ for men and women. Owning a cat is gay, trail running is reserved for guys, drinking tea is feminine and don’t dare order cognac or whiskey if you’re a woman. Those are just some of the warped ideas floating about out there.
We know this because someone recently asked, “What is the dumbest thing you have been told is 'not manly' or 'not feminine,' depending on your gender?” and thousands of people didn’t hold back. Bored Panda has painstakingly gone through 4,8k comments to select the most absurd responses. Slip on your pink robe, grab some tea, buckle up and keep scrolling. Some of these posts might have you "screaming like a girl."
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My brothers mock me for loving to cook/bake.
The way I see it, if a man can't cook himself a good meal, and do laundry and keep a clean place, he can't really take care of himself. And there's nothing less "manly" to me than not being able to take care of yourself.
The idea that boys wear blue and girls wear pink is about more than just clothing. Putting kids into boxes based on their gender can have far-reaching consequences that go way beyond their future fashion choices.
"If we impose rigid ideas of masculinity and femininity on children, we limit their potential and actually cause real harm in later life," says Eva Pemberton from Birmingham City University School of Education and Social Work.
Pemberton is an author and researcher who specializes in child development, with a specific focus on the negative impacts and implications of childhood gender stereotyping. The expert warns that gender stereotypes can impact not only career choices, but also contribute towards poor mental health in young people, and allow a culture of toxic masculinity and violence against women to go unchecked.
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#2
I became a stay at home dad. My wife got a once in a lifetime chance to pursue a career she’d had to abandon while she was 6 months pregnant. The only way for her to take advantage of it was for her to leave her job and become a student again, and my bad retail job could never pay for day care. So, I’ve spent the last 18 years being treated like a bad person and insufficient man for taking care of my kids so that my wife could go to school and get a job that got us everything we have today. And unlike the father in law who treats me like trash, my sons like me.
#3
A while ago I had a picture of myself with my pet cats on my dating profile. I was told by a coworker that it wasnt manly enough. Well if she can't accept me and my kitters id rather be single!
Jeolas1 1 day ago
This is so weird to me. If I saw a dating profile of a man with cats, I'd have a closer look asap.There's very few things I'm more immediately drawn to than to a man showing affection to cats. While I know that at second glance he might still turn out an ässhole, him openly showing affection to cats eliminates several kinds of potential ässholery in one stroke!
It's a sentiment echoed by the World Health Organization (WHO). The agency's experts have previously warned that specific beliefs about masculinity may encourage boys and men to smoke, take certain other health risks, misuse alcohol or substances, and not seek help or health care.
"Such gender norms also contribute to boys and men perpetrating violence – as well as being subjected to violence themselves," notes WHO, adding that rigid gender norms also negatively affect those with diverse gender identities. These people are often subject to violence, stigma and discrimination, including in healthcare settings.
#4
My husband was told that drinking tea was gay. I was like, yeah tea is gay; That’s why there’s only 1.5 billion people in China. The tea has been rendering them gay and unable to produce for thousands of years.
#5
Barbies. Playing with long legged big breasted dolls will make you gay but a shirtless hulk hogan beef cake doll will keep you straight as an arrow.
#6
Told I (cis woman) drive like a man because I have my legs open... Like what? Am I supposed to sit side saddle in the driver's seat?
Nowadays, more and more young people are choosing to identify differently to the gender assigned to them at birth. Many of them already face a struggle fitting in or feeling accepted. Gender stereotyping and discrimination can make life even more difficult for them, and in turn, negatively affect their mental health.
As Pemberton explains, children’s attitudes towards gender are fully formed by the age of seven.
"From an early age, they latch onto stereotypes as a way to categorise and make sense of the world," says the expert. "Their social need to belong and fit in with their ascribed gender - along with the constant ways gender roles are reinforced to them throughout society - can be difficult for parents and caregivers to challenge, even with the best intentions."
#7
So i need to preface this, i knew the dude very well for about 3 years at this point, and I could tell when he was serious and when he wasnt. He was stone cold serious for this, legit got angry when asked about it.
He said I was gay because I kiss my wife.
The 25 other inmates (I was a guard) all were just as confused as I was.
#8
I was called a sissy on several occasions for using lotion. I get cracked hands and feet in winter without it. It hurts.
#9
I swear like a sailor. A man once told me “you know, it isn’t very lady like to talk so filthy.” I replied with a swear tirade.
He was stunned. I walked away smiling.
Experts warn that we all hold unconscious biases, and many of us may be guilty of gender stereotyping without even realizing it. Unconscious bias happens when our subconscious makes assumptions about people based on their background or perceived background, explains a report released by the Institute of Physics (IOP).
That report goes on to note that we can be unconsciously influenced by a stereotype even if we do not rationally subscribe to it. This is because our brains have to process huge amounts of information every second. "In order to avoid being overwhelmed, our brains have to make assumptions based on previous experience and find patterns to speed up decision making," say IOP's experts.
#10
Being French (I am French)
Drinking wine
Enjoying foreign films
Loving art
Really having any culture. The US is a strange place .
#11
Dinosaurs are for boys. Dolphins are for girls. So, I found my way to sharks. Grey area. And then I realized it was stupid and now two of my special interests are dinosaurs and sharks.
#12
Hearing protection isn’t masculine, real men go deaf. I was in the Navy, none of the guys in the engine room wore it.
Awareness and introspection are key to combatting our own unconscious biases, and thus doing away with harmful gender stereotypes.
"Even just creating awareness of the issue and working towards challenging stereotypes in whichever arena of life they arise, we can all make a positive contribution to tackling gender inequalities in later life," says Pemberton.
But retailers, marketers and the media need to come on board too...
#13
I asked for a straw for my drink and the waitress said, "Men don't use straws." I replied, "This man uses straws and doesn't measure his manhood by what other people think. ".
Laszlo Larthlanc 1 day ago
Well, there goes your tip. No -- wait -- here's your tip: don't insult your patrons.
#14
In kindergarten, which was like 100 years ago, we had a girls side and a boys side of one corner of the classroom for playtime. The girls side was all pink, included aprons and a big play kitchen and plastic dishes and cups. The boys side was Tonka trucks and Army men. I remember, as a female, being so pissed off. I wanted the Tonka trucks and Army men, the hell with the kitchen. That year's experience influenced me more than any books, lectures and stories ever did about the roles of men and women in society. I purposely ventured over to the boys side one day and was reprimanded by the teacher, told that was NOT feminine.
#15
I never wanted to wear dresses when I was a girl/teenager. My mom hated that. Now if I ever wear one she makes a big deal about it. “WOW, I thought you hated dresses?!”
Just stop.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
My mom does this to me too XD Hated dresses and skirts as a little girl. I'm 44 now and yeah, my everyday wear is jeans/men's cargo shorts and a t-shirt, but on the rare occasions I go out somewhere with my mom and sister, I'll wear a dress. Every single time, my mom will remark, "You're wearing a dress? I thought you HATE dresses!" Every time as if it's the first time she's ever said it. I was sick of it the first time I heard it, let alone the fiftieth XD I don't love dresses and I sure as hell don't wear any short dresses, but I'm allowed to wear one occasionally even if I hated them as a kid XD
Too often, toys, clothing, books and films are divided into "for boys" and "for girls." This is sending the wrong message to children.
“When all of the marketing consistently revolves around gender, it teaches our kids to look at the opposite... as a different species, because in order to market gendered toys, you have to point out the difference and not the similarities,” warns Melissa Atkins Wardy, author of Redefining Girlie.
#16
My sister and I were at a distillery and we both got whiskey. Someone said she shouldn’t be drinking whiskey “because you’re a lady”.
Genuinely the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a minute.
#17
This is from childhood: The steps that i take when I walk are too long. Very unladylike.
OnlySometimes 1 day ago
How dare you have long legs! I mean what kind of man wants a woman with... hang on a minute...
#18
Having larger feet as a woman isn't very feminine is what I've been told... But I can't figure out how I'm supposed to change that lol.
Kristiina Männiste 1 day ago
I commented online about how happy my sister was to find cute shoes in size 43. And someone commented, that she shouldnt draw attention to her feet... Like she had stolen them from someone or something??? Or they are uncouth somehow?? She has totally normal, legally obtained feet and aint nobodies business how much attention they draw. Also, normalize cute shoes in all sizes!
#19
I’m a woman who has been told that working with my hands isn’t feminine. I love to build things and even built an extra room on to my she shed all by myself.
My husband and I kind of have a “role reversal” situation. He enjoys cleaning and I don’t. He doesn’t enjoy maintenance that much. It works out.
Kelly Scott 1 day ago
I tell people I like dollhouses and miniatures and they think that's so cute. Then I tell them I use a jigsaw to change up the wooden dollhouse kits and it's ooooh, that's only something boys do. But if a man says he's into dollhouses and miniatures, then it's embarrassed silence until he says he makes the furniture and designs the houses. People are so freaking weird.
#20
My mom refused to buy me a Macho King Wrestling Buddy because it was only for boys. Also, she would tear up my comic books and posters because they were only for boys. It upsets her to no end that I have adult money and am able to buy whatever I want. Oh and I finally found the Randy Savage Wrestling Buddy. I was so happy I when I bought him that I cried LOL even the dude who sold it to me was teary eyed.
Fire Singer 1 day ago
I was a "tom-boy" growing up and my mom didn't love it, but she didn't make me feel horrible about it. Even today I'm not ultra feminine but if my mom were upset that I, an adult, was buying what I wanted I'd have to consider the amount of contact I have with her.
#21
Every time my son’s hair (same haircut as prince george) reach the middle of his ears, my parents say it’s girly.
My father grew up in the 70s were they all had hair to their shoulders.... and my mother always had very short hair.... 😑.
Chich the witch 1 day ago
Yep, just like all those long haired 'girly men' in history. Y'know - Genghis Khan, Nelson, Sitting Bull, Ashoka and the like
#22
Wearing shorts in the summer was girly. My dad, who is 90, never wore shorts, that I have ever observed. I’d rather be cooler and girly than masculine and sweaty.
TheWickedOne 12 hours ago
The manliest man I've ever met, at my work, wears shorts all year round, even when its -5º F out... crazy SOB
#23
Sitting cross legged (crisscross apple sauce or whatever Americans call it) is not ladylike.
I was 8(?) and in school wearing a skirt and shorts underneath, my teach exclaimed people could easily look at my knickers and lady bits if I carried on sitting that way.
Very odd statement to make to a child tbh. Maybe just don’t look at children’s crotches?
Laszlo Larthlanc 1 day ago
When I was in junior high school all of the girls started wearing boxer-length underwear with circumferential frills up the entire leg. They could sit any way they wanted to in their dresses and all that was visible were those frills. They were especially advantageous in classrooms that were arranged in such a way that one half of the class faced the other half of the class, as was in the case in all foreign language classes. This type of underwear came to be called "beaver cheaters" by the girls themselves. Problem solved.
#24
When I was with my son getting him a phone when he was a high school kid, he chose rose gold for his phone colour and the sales person asked him if he was sure, my son replied that he was, so the sales person told him he was brave. It was a stupid moment.
Auntriarch 1 day ago
My brother wears pink occasionally, it suits him very well. I doubt anyone questions it though because he's built like a brick outhouse
#25
FIL said using a straw in my drink at a restaurant means I'm gay.
Giraffe Sitter 1 day ago
Tell him he seems curiously preoccupied with cylindrical objects in men’s mouths.
#26
Reading books from the Star Wars extended universe. This was back in the 90s.
Edit: I was told it wasn't feminine. Sci-fi/Fantasy were often considered boy genres in the 90s in the same way romance is still largely written by and marketed for women now. Shake it up, my dudes!
Laszlo Larthlanc 1 day ago
Alice Mary Norton wrote and published over 300 novels under the nom de plume Andre Norton. Ursula K. LeGuin has written some of the most deeply intelligent SciFi ever to hit the shelves. Let's not forget Mary Shelley, either. Go get a cup of whatever you drink and Google "female sci fi authors", and then settle back for about a day's worth of reading if you're going to read all of the bios.
#27
I’m not a cat owner. But I’ve met men and women who thinks that men with pet cats are “gay”.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago (edited)
When my now-ex and I met, he'd never had a pet in his life other than fish. I'd had dogs and cats my whole life, and had a German Shepherd and a cat when we met. He was wary and leery at first, but quickly learned how rewarding pets can be. I adopted a tuxedo kitten, Preacher, 5 years ago, and it was bromance at first sight between them. When I finally moved back home a year ago (the relationship was not good, overall) there was no way I was going to take Preacher away from my ex, even though he was ostensibly "my" cat. He and my ex love each other devotedly. My ex shares cat-safe bits of his lunches with Preacher. He has a second chair at his computer desk just for Preacher's use. Preacher is affectionate with me, but he worships my ex. Ex has completely embraced being a "cat dad" XD I think people who think it's "gay" for men to have cats have literally never had a cat in their lives.
#28
Having a sweet tooth. Only women are supposed to like chocolate, apparently.
Howl's sleeping castle 1 day ago
What? I was told women are supposed to like tangy more than men. And it annoys me because I prefer sweets over tangy.
#29
Had a barber in a shop telling me my more pointed beard was feminine and it should be more squared off to be manly. I just said no, keep the shape. Feminine beard?
Toujin C'Thlu 1 day ago
I've seen bearded women, and none of them had pointy 'feminine' beards
#31
Being independent. apparently being dependant on a man is feminine. idk.
#32
Years ago when I was a teen, I went to my best friend’s family reunion at a park in July. It was 85+ degrees outside and every, single person there was wearing sandals except for her uncle and two cousins, both boys of about 8 and 10 years old, who were wearing boots. I asked my friend why, she shushed me quickly, then said when we were out of earshot that it was a whole thing at last year’s reunion.
Apparently, everyone said it was cruel and their father countered that he was “raising men” and “men don’t wear sandals.”.
Chich the witch 1 day ago (edited)
Just makes sense. People like him are usually hardcore christians and we all know Jesus loved a good pair of workbooks :P
#33
"It's just creepy when men smile and wave at [my toddlers] in the store. Like, why would they even do that?" -my sister
I pointed out that both of our husbands make faces at kids when we're waiting in line. And our dad. And our grandpa. And- she jumped in at this point and admitted that she needs therapy for post-partum anxiety.
Fire Singer 1 day ago
I feel this one for my dad. Saying my dad loves kids sounds so horrible, but if I say my mom loves kids no one questions the context. My dad adores little kids and is so great with them but he is aware it can come off creepy if he doesn't know the family.
#34
Short hair made me “look like a boy”.
#35
I worked at a country store in the mall, and we had these cute decorative ceramic birds. They were painted lifelike, like a chickadee. A little boy maybe 8 years old and his mom came into the store and the boy was holding a ceramic bird in his hand, petting it as if he was caring for his own pet. It was adorable! His mother however kept saying something like, "are you SURE you want that? A girl toy. Seriously? I'm going to tell coach! Okay fine I'm going to tell him!".
#36
Asking for help when you’re lost. Apparently I was supposed to telepathically know where I was going or meet my end trying.
#37
As a girl, history. I love the medival theme and play many medival video games, but I often get weird looks for it.
#38
“Girl’s shouldn’t own swords, that’s a boy thing.” - My dad
Maybe I just want a sword, Dad.
#39
I was a rough and tumble girl growing up - I could be found climbing trees, racing my bike, jumping off monkey bars, you name it. Every time I would get a scrape or a cut or a bruise, my adults insisted “if you have scarred knees or beat up skin, no one is ever going to marry you.” Also: stop being so smart. Men don’t marry intelligent women; you’ve got to play dumb or you’re not girly enough.
Still working through those voices in my 40s.
#41
“If you don’t wear makeup, do your nails, or like fancy bags, you’re not very feminine.”
Which of course silly!
#42
I am not feminine because I wear jeans and t-shirts and not dresses, and play hockey cause that’s a man’s sport.
#43
According to my father, wearing sunglasses is not manly.
FreeDragon 1 day ago
Yeah, all these fighter pilots always wearing them RayBans, sissies, the lot of them.
#44
I think people who say “lifting weights isn’t feminine” are suspicious.
#45
Yesterday I was told that, as a man, I was not allowed to use to word “lovely” for any reason.
Laszlo Larthlanc 1 day ago
Yeah. I mean, what's wrong with you? Just stick to "bitchin' "dude. Even during job interviews and at funerals.
#46
I was made fun of a bit on the football team for being in glee club. They said singing and dancing were gay. I pointed out that I had watched them play tag football in the showers a few weeks earlier. Meanwhile, I was in a class with 30 guys and 70 women. I got to kiss a cute girl twice a day for a week when we were doing a performance for visiting 8th graders. Super gay though.
#47
My teeth had a shape that was “not feminine enough,” according to my orthodontist.
#48
Drinking certain beverages.
I enjoy cognac; I drink it more than any other form of alcohol.
I've been told that enjoying a glass of cognac after dinner is a "masculine" thing and it's not ladylike, and I should have some wine.
Giraffe Sitter 1 day ago
People should keep their opinions to themselves and let you drink what you like. I’d say you should throw your drink in their face but that’d be a waste of good cognac. Get a cheap glass of house red and throw that.
#49
That if a boy does not get a blue lunch box he is not getting a manly one.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I had a blue lunchbox in elementary school, because blue was my favorite color XD My Trapper Keeper also had a snarling wolf on it. No ponies or kittens for me XD
#50
Used to be called gay for having an umbrella. Like it’s gay to not want to get soaked. I did grow up 80s and 90s and everything was gay to us to be fair.
It was hard not to call something not good gay even when I had a gay housemate but he was chill with it and now don’t use gay to mean bad.
Howl's sleeping castle 1 day ago
I have told this story before. Seeing people with umbrellas is very common at my home town and everyone, old, young, men, women, children use them. I had quite a collection because I love umbrellas. Then I moved to a city. My friend was complaining about the heat and I advised him to take an umbrella. His immediate response was men don't use umbrellas. I told him its the fùckīng sun. It doesn't care if you can do more pushups. It will k**l you the same
#51
I (female) was driving with one hand on the wheel and my ex said I drive like a man.
Howl's sleeping castle 1 day ago
I was told I drink like a man because I was drinking cold drink out of a glass bottle while holding the neck.
#52
“Men should not eat bananas”.
#53
As a man I've been judged for getting manicures and pedicures. Let me tell you something guys. You don't know what you're missing.
Auntriarch 1 day ago
I bought my father a pedicure for his birthday one time, he absolutely loved it, so I did it for him at home after, and a manicure. The last time I did it was at the hospital, he wasn't talking at that point, but after I finished he grasped my hand like he always did.
#54
I know a Ukranian guy. He's really good at making soup. We were talking about cooking one day. I said something about pie dough. He told me that's a woman thing.
I've known people who discriminate about cooking based on gender, i.e. "only women cook" or "only men can be great chefs." This is the first time I've heard someone discriminate about types of cooking.
Laszlo Larthlanc 1 day ago
Incapable of making a decent pie dough himself, so he dismissed the ability. It requires a deft touch, the right shortening, and not too much agitation of the ingredients.
#56
I’ve been told it’s not manly to talk as much as I do… I think half of society wants men to be Terminator robots 😭.
Saltypepper 1 day ago
I was told that ladies don’t talk a lot when they do speak they speak quietly
#57
Enjoying tabletop RPGs isn't for girls.
I went to a card shop and bought a DnD mini for an upcoming campaign and the guy at checkout criticized my choice in character (was playing a Dragonborn sorcerer) and then proceeded to inform me that "DnD is for guys who want to play out their 'fantasies' and having women bring their 'drama' into it, just ruins it for us(guys)"
Also similarly anything related to Warhammer 40k. A friend of mine was in a tournament, and I tagged along to watch because I like hanging out with him and I like looking at people's models and some guy asked why I was even there because "girls aren't into 40k." I wasn't even the only girl there...
Ronja Oksanen 1 day ago
When I went to ttrpg shop to get yet another set of dices and new mini, the boys who were working there looked like I broke the laws of physics by being there 😅 The other one very timidly tried to recommend me cute pink dices and asked or I'm buying for my boyfriend 🙄 But after I went to exited rant about my new kenku character they relaxed and appeared to be ok with girls playing too.
#58
I used to do MMA in the days before UFC went mainstream. I was once told by a woman that real men don't do martial arts, they just street fight.
#60
Enjoying listening to singers that are women.
Laszlo Larthlanc 1 day ago
OK, shut up, whoever said that. I'll dìe on this hill. You come after my Bonnie Tyler, Kim Carnes, Janis Joplin, Olivia Newton-John, Carole King, Thelma Houston, Whitney Houston, Donna Summer, Aretha Franklin, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon, Joan Baez, Diana Ross, Dolly Parton, Stevie Nicks, Christie McVie and Judy Collins music you'd better be ready to dìe on your hill, too. (And the names I named are just the ones I could think of off-hand.)
#61
My mother always insisted playing pool (billiards) is NOT ladylike.
#62
Im REALLY old. I was a young woman when self service gas stations came into being.
Whenever i would pump my own gas, people thought i was just amazing.
I have friends my age today, that still cant gas up their cars. Their husbands have always done it for them.
Some women can work on their own cars. I can't but i can at least check my hood and air my tires. When my Dad taught me how to drive, the service stations were all full service with garages. Dad taught me to check the car stuff myself. He told me that a lot of service station workers weren't that bright or caring. So he didn't want me to trust anyone but myself. That proved to be good advice.
People used to check hoods and tires at the gas pumps. Whenever i did that, a ton of people would stop and ask me if i was having car trouble. So i started doing the check at home in my garage.
Gingersnap In Iowa 20 hours ago
I had a Buick Regal about 25 years ago. I fixed the brakes, water pump, and timing belt on that car. I did it bc I hate asking for help and I'm lucky enough to have a brother who taught me a lot.
What do you think ?
reuben kift 1 day ago (edited)
I find it funny that a lot of these "manly" men who try to paint certain hobbies/interests/activities as gay, tend to spend a lot of time thinking about what other men think it takes to be a real man. Seriously, just be you. Real men, to my eyes, don't care about what other men think about what it takes to be a real man. If you find something cute, say so. If you cook/bake, do so. A real woman, to my eyes, also shouldn't care about what men think it takes to be a real woman. If you wanna drink beer, watch sports and drive trucks, fight or whatever it is these men consider "masculine", do so. Also, disregard what I think it takes to be a real man/woman/other. Just stop caring what anyone thinks about what should/shouldn't be and just do you.
Rick Murray 1 day ago
At school, mid eighties, I wanted to go into cookery class (girls) and not woodwork (boys). School refused, mom insisted, so they let me. The girls had no problems with it. The teachers, however... It kind of blew up when I went home and said I don't get why the teacher keeps calling me a cigarette (not the exact word she used, but what I thought it meant). Thankfully I was waiting for a boarding school placement so I didn't have to stay in that awful place much longer. But, wow, the primary lesson I learned at school was "don't trust adults".
reuben kift 1 day ago (edited)
I find it funny that a lot of these "manly" men who try to paint certain hobbies/interests/activities as gay, tend to spend a lot of time thinking about what other men think it takes to be a real man. Seriously, just be you. Real men, to my eyes, don't care about what other men think about what it takes to be a real man. If you find something cute, say so. If you cook/bake, do so. A real woman, to my eyes, also shouldn't care about what men think it takes to be a real woman. If you wanna drink beer, watch sports and drive trucks, fight or whatever it is these men consider "masculine", do so. Also, disregard what I think it takes to be a real man/woman/other. Just stop caring what anyone thinks about what should/shouldn't be and just do you.
Rick Murray 1 day ago
At school, mid eighties, I wanted to go into cookery class (girls) and not woodwork (boys). School refused, mom insisted, so they let me. The girls had no problems with it. The teachers, however... It kind of blew up when I went home and said I don't get why the teacher keeps calling me a cigarette (not the exact word she used, but what I thought it meant). Thankfully I was waiting for a boarding school placement so I didn't have to stay in that awful place much longer. But, wow, the primary lesson I learned at school was "don't trust adults".
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