When it comes to difficult conversations, I have a way to go. I often swing between hyper-assertiveness and retreating entirely, but both avoid vulnerability. I often tell myself silence is “skilful”, though it can easily turn into passive aggression. And avoidance has consequences – not speaking out of fear can create distance and irreparable damage to relationships and communities.
As the Buddhist activist-scholar bell hooks says: “to know love we have to tell the truth to ourselves and to others … Commitment to truth telling lays the groundwork for the openness and honesty that is the heartbeat of love.” That, to me, is the kind of love I aspire to, even if I often miss the mark.
