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REVEALED: 2 | Vintage Vibes

The first of my friends is having a baby and it makes me feel pressured. How do I reframe this?

Big life questions tend to squeeze us at this time of year, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but a baby is a person not a symbol

The Guardian - AU · Jan 2

How do I talk to my conservative grandsons who dismiss my politics as fuzzy thinking?

You could try showing them the depths of what they don’t know, says advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Knowing what they’re missing could be a path to mutual respect

The Guardian - AU · Dec 18, 2025

My son is a voracious reader, but he judges books by their covers. How can I help him see past them?

When you make art proof of virtue, you can make it feel like a drag, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. Instead, encourage him to develop his own sensibility

The Guardian - AU · Dec 4, 2025

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My ex is having an affair with another soccer mum and I feel complicit. Do I tell the husband or keep it quiet?

They probably underestimate the cost to you of keeping this secret, writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Before you tell the husband, could you talk to your ex?

The Guardian - AU · Nov 20, 2025

Some days I am so homesick it hurts. What should I do?

You’re desperate to go home, but there’s also a huge risk of idealising it, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Start looking at the hard details outside the fantasy

The Guardian - AU · Nov 13, 2025

I seem to put out a strong ‘new-best-friend’ vibe, then I back off. Should I dial it down?

Sometimes we feel threatened by bids for closeness, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. It can help to consider if you’re being true to yourself

The Guardian - AU · Nov 6, 2025

How do I break up with a kind and generous man who leaves me feeling cold and irritated?

If you want permission that it’s OK to hurt a good person: it is, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. There is a life he could have without you

The Guardian - AU · Oct 30, 2025

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I am content being single. How do I make people understand that I’m happy as I am?

Anyone whose life deviates from mainstream expectations gets this, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Perhaps you could play with different ways to describe it

The Guardian - AU · Oct 23, 2025

My sister-in-law won’t let anyone hold her new baby. It feels extreme. Is it?

There could be so many different reasons behind this choice, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Maybe what you really mean is you feel hurt to be left out

The Guardian - AU · Oct 16, 2025

My brother and sister are angry at my parents. I feel caught in the middle. What can I do?

To avoid becoming a conflict manager, you might want to pick phrases to repeat like a broken record, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. They might stop trying to involve you

The Guardian - AU · Oct 10, 2025

I have a crippling fear of being judged. How can I overcome this?

Is it worth paying with your life to avoid being mocked, asks advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Practice valuing your own judgments as much as other people’s

The Guardian - AU · Oct 3, 2025

I am 86 and on my own. How do I get to know my nice neighbour better?

Trying to progress a relationship can feel awkward, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But it’s easier if you find something specific to do together

The Guardian - AU · Sep 25, 2025

My boyfriend sees sex as a competition he is losing. How can I change his mind?

Masculine adequacy is a curse, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Beyond assuring him he meets the standard, could you help him to see the standard doesn’t matter?

The Guardian - AU · Sep 19, 2025

I’m exhausted but am surviving. How can I heal from burnout without expensive time off?

Lots of us are desperate to come off the watch, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. One strategy might be to cut the corners you can

The Guardian - AU · Sep 11, 2025

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The Guardian - AU · Sep 4, 2025

I don’t want children. Is it hypocritical to not be forthright about this soon after meeting someone?

Not wanting kids isn’t especially unusual, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. It might help to frame the conversation as what you’re saying yes to rather than what you’re refusing

The Guardian - AU · Aug 28, 2025

I struggle with letting go of things. How can I move on for a calmer life?

Well-meaning people might say you need closure, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But this isn’t always necessary – or possible – for moving on

The Guardian - AU · Aug 22, 2025

I long to carpe diem! How can I be more present?

It’s worth asking not just how to seize the day but why exactly we’re not, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes

The Guardian - AU · Aug 15, 2025

I can’t read anyone’s body language and I feel flirt-illiterate. How do I meet new people?

Dating is different for everyone, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. It’s about being yourself, on purpose, in ways that let your people find you

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The Guardian - AU · Aug 7, 2025

Helen Garner and Dua Lipa’s interview caused a personal crisis. How can I be ‘quietly intelligent’?

There’s a way of thinking about traits such as intelligence as gifts, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. The next step is figuring out how to share them

The Guardian - AU · Aug 1, 2025

My father finally acknowledged my stepmother’s cruelty. How do I ask him to reconsider their marriage?

That question is hard to ask no matter how you phrase it, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, and his answer might be just as hard to hear

The Guardian - AU · Jul 17, 2025

I am very wary of my five-year-old stepdaughter. Am I a bad person?

It’s fine to have mixed feelings about being a step-parent, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But what you do with those feelings might not be

The Guardian - AU · Jul 10, 2025

I’ve been in a sexless marriage for 35 years. What can I do?

It’s not just about sex; it’s about feeling as though your wellbeing doesn’t matter, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. The first step might be changing the goal

The Guardian - AU · Jul 3, 2025

After an ADHD and autism diagnosis, I now find the world more confusing. How do I make sense of this?

It’s frightening to learn we’re not similar to others, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. One way to respond is to allow that feeling of otherness

The Guardian - AU · Jun 26, 2025

How can I stop fixating on my appearance?

We’re up against industries worth billions, and millennia of raising girls on skincare and diets, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. When things do feel wobbly, smaller interventions might stop the scrutiny cycle

The Guardian - AU · Jun 19, 2025

I lost weight and now people treat me better. How do I reconcile this?

It’s easy to resent being treated better because of how you look, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. Try to notice who has treated you the same all along

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